her.

Chapter Eighteen; settling

I woke up and the first thing I realized was that my brain hurts. I groaned, slowly peeling my eyes opened to look around at what was around me. I noticed a bottle of Ciroc sitting on my nightstand making me realize what exactly was going on. 

I spent another night drinking obsessively and now I have a hangover. I sat up slowly, trying not to trigger my body to want to throw up. Looking down I realized that I had no shirt on and I also noticed that there was an arm wrapped around my waist. I immediately jumped to conclusions hoping that it was her laying next to me, but I should've known better. It wasn't. It was just some random girl. 

I pushed her shoulder, trying to wake her up, hoping to get her out of the house before the rest of my family would wake up. I shook her shoulder again, seeing that she was stirring. She looked up at me with her eyes half opened. "You got to leave," I mumbled. 

She groaned rolling over onto her other side, ignoring me. I clenched my jaw before shaking her shoulder again. "I know you heard me the first time." I spat. "Get out." 

"Stop being so fucking loud," she muttered lowly but loud enough for me to hear. I growled making her roll her eyes and look over at me. "Geez, chill out. I'm leaving," she muttered before standing up and allowing me to see her naked body as she picked her clothes up and got dressed. I rolled my eyes, looking away from her and regretting my decisions from last night. If Shyla was here she would be so disappointed in me.  And I was disappointed in myself as well. 

I sighed sitting up and getting out my bed and trudging to the bathroom.  I turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up as I scrolled through my messages. I didn't really look at what the messages contained as I just was trying to see who they were from. Not seeing any of them from her, I groaned just locking my phone and sitting it on the shelf over top of the toilet, then got in the shower, washing away last night.

After I got out the shower, I brushed my teeth quickly then grabbed my phone and head out the bathroom, checking my messages again. This time, one caught my eye, as the number wasn't saved and it said, 'She's here'

I walked sat down on my bed and opened the message, hoping it was her. It seemed like technology never worked on your side when you needed it to the most. Right now, my phone was moving like a fucking snail. I rolled my eyes, getting irritated, hoping it'd hurry up before I sling it against the wall.

After about fifteen long seconds, my phone finally opened the message. I felt my heart drop as I saw the picture and the message. 

'She's here' along with a picture of a baby girl wrapped in a hospital blanket. Automatically I smiled, as I realized the similarities to the girl I loved and her. 

She had the same brown hair as her, her hair already curly but I think that all baby's hairs are curly or at least a little bit curly when they first come out. She also had her mother's nose. I had to lock my phone to not get emotional. 

I sighed, wishing I could be there for Shyla but I know she wouldn't want me to be there. I don't know why she keeps pushing me away. I know she's been through some shit but I still want to be with her. Isn't that enough? I have never run away when things got hard or tough with her. I just tried to fix it. I wish she would just do that but she never listens to me. 

I'm almost sure I should just move on. She doesn't love me the way I love her. Love shouldn't be a one-way street. And I know for sure it's that way with us. 

I was tired of getting hurt and feeling hurt. I needed to move on. For myself. For Shyla. It's only right. 

I was just about to get dressed when I heard footsteps running down the steps. I looked over to see Natyra. She had a bag in her hand with food. She flashed me a weak smile and sat on my bed.

"Might not want to sit there," I said. She jumped up immediately and grimaced. 

"Gross, Noah."

"Oh, don't act like once upon a time you didn't want to wake up in my bed naked," I grumbled as I walked over to one of my dressers and pulled out a pair of boxers. 

"Yeah, that was a long time ago." I frowned. 

"I don't think a year ago was a long time ago." she giggled before sitting in the chair near the steps. 

"What you finna do today?" she asked as she opened the bag of food and pulled out a sandwich and biting into it. 

"Chill out and not get wasted." She paused in chewing her food and raised her eyebrow as I turned back to look at her. 

"Really?" she asked. That's all I've been doing since she's been gone and I think that's it finally time for me to come to terms with this and move on. It's clear that she isn't coming back and never loving me, as she never cared for how I felt. 

"Yes," I said. She smiled and nodded. 

"Finally!" she said with a huge smile. "I needed my Noah back." I smiled weakly at her enthusiasm. 

"It's great to be back," I said honestly.