𝐮𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐨 ✾ (𝐣. 𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨)

EIGHTEEN !

UN POCO LOCO !

after christmas break.

Rumors, whispers. rumors, whispers. rumors, whispers. 'are you okay vienna?', 'i'll survive'. dirty looks, eye rolls. dirty looks. eye rolls.

it all repeats. over and over. it's a pattern.

three days ago, i thought i'd be fine. no one likes the queen bee. yeah, i guess that's true. the problem is, at my school, we don't have a queen bee.

we have a queen vee.

it's almost worse. no, it's definitely worse. she probably has more power than the principal, honestly.

misery was an understatement to describe the 'peasants', or, the 'unpopulars'. she could slice you to pieces. feed you to the class goldfish. take your lunch money. slap you silly. frame you. stuff you into a locker. hide your clothes during gym class.

she COULD do any of that. she doesn't. instead of messing with you physically, she does it emotionally. mentally. it's awful. i think anyone would rather be stuffed into a locker.

because although she will consider keeping your limbs securely attached to your torso, she will not hesitate to annihilate your brain like paper in a shredder.

vienna. vienna murphy has the power to contact everybody who attends her school. to spread a rumor about you in half a second. a notification with even the first letter of her name will cause a boy's heart to pound, a girl to question if her outfit meets the queen's standards.

you see, being a peasant is heard. but being a minion is harder.

she will slave you like you have no soul. beat you with her words like it will change anything at all. collect all information that leaves your mouth so she has something against you at all times.

being her minion, her best friend, means you have to dress like her. you have to look like her. you have to walk like her, you have to talk like her, you have to eat like her. you have to sing and dance the way she does. you absolutely need to like the same things she does. most importantly, you have to think like her.

you have to be vienna.

being friends with vienna; its almost as if i forgot my own name. for a moment i nearly believed i was a clone, paid for by her rich father's money.

but, why don't they look up to me the way they look up to her? is it because i'm a brunette? did i do my makeup wrong? is my skirt not short enough for them?

no. it's because i am not fake. sashaying through the hallways definitely does not come naturally to me like it does to vienna. because my entire closet doesn't consist of crop tops and mini skirts, i only borrowed vee's.

but in a way, i guess i was fake. because i decided to act like the blonde bimbo when i could've been gwen loomiz. brown hair, naked-faced, baggy-clothed, gwen.

and maybe that's why the entire ninth grade of kristo high hates my guts. not because i was fake, but because now that vienna and i aren't the school's 'most iconic duo' anymore, i am no longer fake. i am no longer vienna. i am gwen again.

this week i've lost my social life. i've lost any small piece of me that wanted to go to school, or get out of bed. i lost three a.m girl talks.

and all for doing what's right for myself.

KARLEIGH SPEAKS !
didn't mean to get sappy up in this bitch but i was in a mOOd