Human || Lams (Completed)

Human.

John barely slept, uncomfortable in his own bed. Alex rolled over some time in the night, and as soon as his arm was free, John scrambled away and sat on the floor.

He didn't want to look at Alex's loopy writing on his arm that he should've loved looking at, didn't want to feel his slow breathing against the side of his face, and most of all didn't want to think about what had just come out his mouth. Alex was drunk. He surely didn't mean it. Hell, he probably wouldn't even remember it when he woke up.

He finally felt sleep tug at him and he embraced it fully, head against his side table drawers.

-------

John felt his shoulder being shaken, startling him awake with a groan. His eyes cracked open to see his father, brows furrowed and speaking.

"We need to talk," his father said.

John was still half-asleep, standing up stiffly and stumbling after his father. He jolted when he finally came to and saw Alex's body still on his bed, immediately preparing for whatever speech his father would give to him right then. His stomach churned when they turned the corner and walked into the study.

He sat in a chair across from his father and waited.

"Phone," was all his father said.

"Huh?" John asked.

"Give me your phone."

John did as he was told, watching as his father opened the mini trash can by the desk and dropped it inside. When his father spoke again, his tone differed from the one before. He almost sounded disappointed.

"This boy- Alexander. Why is he in your bed? Why was I not informed he would be staying over?"

"After the party last night..." John paused, still trying to come up with a story. He felt his face getting hotter and cursed inwardly. "Alex felt really sick, and our house was closer."

His father clearly saw through his lies. "I...see. You know, I'm acquaintances with the Washingtons. Their son is quite a charming boy."

John gulped, knowing what he was getting at. When he didn't reply, his father was forced to continue.

"I thought this was just a phase, but clearly, I was wrong. I know what's going on, John. I'm not an idiot."

"Not at all, dad," was the only thing John could muster.

His father stood, "I talked to Martha this morning. I realized that I need to take you away from the root of these... feelings."

John flinched, dread washing over him. That's it, he thought. Martha had told him she'd come back, but not under the current circumstances.

"I asked the maid to start packing your bags when she comes by today. They have some good schools in Philadelphia, we'll be able to enroll you in no time. Until then, go get your friend home."

------

"John? What's going on?" Alex asked, holding the sweatshirt John had given back to him. He'd been asking the same thing for five minutes, still only getting vague answers or being told to stop worrying. His head hurt and he honestly felt like throwing up, but he had to prioritize right then.

John sighed. He would have to get it over with it at some point. "I'm moving." He didn't want to think about the extremities of it all. For now, he was still with Alexander, he still had time and a home he had so many memories in.

Alex breathed in slowly. His heartbeat felt like it was coming from his throat. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Just found out." He looked down at the sidewalk. He didn't know how to approach all of the things he still needed answers to. They walked all the way until there was just a block left until Alexander's house. "Hey, um, Alex."

"Yeah?"

"You said something last night. I just want to know if you meant it." He felt like he had nothing to lose. Even if this went horribly wrong, his phone was in the trash and Alex would never be able to talk to him again.

"Okay," Alex said. He sounded suspicious and scared.

"You said that you lied. What did you mean by that?"

Alex sighed. He should've known to not to drink so much- but with each sip, he didn't feel the anxiety or guilt from his situation.

"You don't have to say anything, Alexander. But I won't laugh. I won't get angry, I promise you." John looked at him.

Alex stayed quiet.

John felt himself letting go. He'd spent so much of his life not knowing things- the truth of his mother's condition, whether or not he'd be forced into a marriage with the girl next door by his father, or if he'd ever even be looked at by someone who could say they loved him with certainty. Just this once, he needed someone to tell him the truth. Whatever that happened to be.

John exhaled hard, "You said you love me. Just please," he knew that the drops of water he felt on his face were tears, but he made no effort to wipe them away, "tell me if it's true."

Alex stopped dead in his tracks. Surely this was a prank, he'd never tell anyone.

Alex could lie. He could leave it right there, ruin their friendship and keep his emotions bottled up for however long they would stay true for. But then he looked at John. He recognized the pain in his eyes from all of the times Alex had stared at himself in the mirror and told himself to man up.

"I-" Alexander couldn't finish his sentence, as his phone went off in his pocket. He shifted the sweatshirt to one arm and answered the call, turning slightly away from John's shaking figure.

Hercules' voice came through, asking if he was okay after last night and if he got home safe. He answered in short sentences, hoping that Herc would be satisfied with them alone.

When the call finally ended, he turned back to face John, a confession on the tip of his lips.

But the other was gone.

------

Late that night in Laurens residence, a phone rang from inside a small trash can.

John's father picked it out of the bin, declining the call immediately after seeing who it was from. He dropped it back inside, returning to reading over a paper.

The phone let out a noise to signify a new notification just a minute later, and when he picked it back up to turn off the sound, he was met with a text that made his blood boil.

A.Hamilton: I meant it. I love you.

He threw it on the ground and crushed it with his heel. John would be leaving much sooner than he'd planned.