Warm Water // Cro

15. Restart

I think once you get to the point in your life where you know you fucked up. Just the way you're living your life. With no plan, you start to realize how your choices had consequences. It wasn't so much dating your coworker it was more of, I should have left him the first time he got a nasty attitude with me. That's why I packed all my bags, called a Taxi and was on my way to a Hotel.

It was a cheap hotel but I rather be far away from that lunatic. I would have to quit my job as a receptionist. Find a new one or even move fucking cities. Away from Berlin which I saw as a second home, I came here with no plan. I came here with money that was left to me by my grandparents, but not with a specific plan. I moved in with Bruno because he had a room that needed to be rented, I didn't even know him. Another red flag, but he wasn't a danger to me. Matty I didn't even see him coming.

I sat on the bed, taking out my phone. One message, from Carlo.

Carlo: Did you get home?

Warm welcome.

Me: Yes.

I waited for a minute and no reply. I guess that's all he wanted to know. I set my phone down on the bed and laid down. Putting my hands on my temples, rubbing them. What the hell am I doing with my life? Should I go back home? No. That's running away from my fears, I don't do that. I could get my map of Germany and wherever it lands I'll move there. I have enough money to last me for about 3 months. Then I'd be broke, unemployed, begging my parents to take me back.

I was interrupted when I felt my phone buzzing on the bed, the ringtone playing, Meine Gang.

I blame Johannes.

It read "Carlo.", I looked at it then set it back down. No way I'll pick up the phone. I let it ring until again it rung and again. Persistent.

I grabbed the phone slid the incoming call and answered it.

"Hello?", I answered sounding chill as shit.

"Are you okay?", Carlo asked me.

"Yes, why?", I replied. Chill Clara, chill.

"You're lying. Johannes went upstairs to your room and it was empty. You forgot your bag again.", Carlo said, waiting for my reply but I said nothing. I couldn't say anything without it coming out like a walrus in pain. "Clara, tell me what's going on."

"I fucked up…", I simply said trying to not let my voice crack entirely. "I fucked up so bad."

"Okay, tell me where you are.", Carlo said I could hear rustling in the background.

"A hotel, grand hotel.", I said putting my hands in my face.

"Okay, just wait.", He said, I heard the car door closing. "What hotel number?"

"357."

"I'll be there in a few. Okay?", he asked me.

"Okay..", I said hanging up on him.

I'm making matters worse.

I waited for him. Pacing back and forth, I probably didn't have any nails for the Asian ladies back in Seattle to work with.  When he finally got here he knocked on my door really hard making me jump. I opened the door and he came in the door hugging me. I stood there like a stick.

He let go of me and looked at me. It was weird seeing him without a mask, when everyone else in the world sees him in a panda mask.

"What happened?", He asked me looking at me waiting for a response.

"When I got home, he was in my room. I don't even know where he got the key! Asking me questions where I was, I lied to him. Told him I was with Bruno but he knew I was Johannes and you. Then he told me to choose, him or you guys. I told him it was you guys.", I paused catching my breathe I was rambling my explanation. "Then he said he didn't like liars, I am a liar. So he grabbed my hair and slammed me against the wall. Told me he'd be back later on in the day but I ran away.", I said. "I need to leave, he is psychotic."

"Why didn't you call the police?", Carlo asked me.

"For gods sake I don't know the emergency number in Germany.", I answered back. "All I know is 911!"

"We can go to the police station. Come on.", Carlo said grabbing my hand and leading me out the door but I stayed still.

"No I just want to leave…", I said still holding his hand.

"Okay.", Carlo said coming back to me. "We can go to Stuttgart, where my home is."

"I don't want to be a bother. If you can get me to the airport I'll be fine.", I argued back.

"Nein, you are never a bother.", he said coming closer to me. He let go of my hand, putting his hands on me cheeks. "Nie.", he kissed my temple and grabbed my hand again.

I grabbed my suitcase and left with him. Now I am a runaway. The ride there took a whole day. I felt dirty. Felt like I needed to take a shower in holy water. Bathe in it.

I shouldn't of had judged a book by its cover when I met Carlo. Not much of a cover, a mask. I think meeting these people where the best thing that ever happened to me. Shouldn't of had pushed them away. I am hard headed and I don't like letting people in that I know will do serious damage. Carlo messes with my head, my feelings. He does so many things that I should set him on fire for. But alas he never hit me. Only hurt my va—not going there.

"We're here.", I heard Carlo say. It was a two story house. Looked like no one was there for a while, since the grass was really tall. He got out the car, I unbuckled my seat belt and followed him. He opened the door and the house was all white, the walls where white but the furniture didn't really match. It was spotless. You could tell no one really lived in there because it was clean. A shocker because they are animals at some point. Johannes and Markus, god help them. When we went upstairs it was like a little maze. Rooms where in all the corners. The middle was like the hallway. He took a right turn and opened to door. His room was bright because of the windows. There was a desk on the left in front of the windows. His bed was in the front it was the exterior was black but the sheets where white. Just like the room.

He had plants, which where still in good condition. As if someone actually came every day and watered them.

"I make mama come and water them every once and a while.", he said breaking the silence. "Welcome, to my room."

I nodded my head. Sitting down on his bed, he sat next me. He put his arm around my waist, pulling me down into the bed. We laid there in bittersweet silence.
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A/N: Hopeyoulikeit! thepictureup/side thereiswhathisroomlookslike. Tellmewhatyouthink.