All My Fault

Friends

After your plane landed, you gloomily stepped into the airport and dragged your feet towards the baggage claim. Suddenly someone tapped your back lightly. Turning around, your bad mood instantly lightened and you smiled genuinely. 

"Gummyyyyy" screeching you wrapped yourself around your best friend, Park Bogum, like a koala.

He laughed along with you. Wrapping his arms around you he twirled you around. "Ah! I missed my baby koala so much!" And he started giving sloppy kisses on your forehead. 

"Stop! You're basically slobbering all over my forehead Gummy!" You flicked his forehead and got down. "How long did you wait?"

"My flight landed about an hour ago" he swiped his hair backwards " and I took your bag" he pointed to your backpack, the one he had given you last year for your birthday. "Let's go?"

You nodded and mounted your backpack. Looping your arms around his, you both walked out of the airport.

"One for the depressed man and one for Sandeul" Ken handed the beer bottles to his friends taking a sip from his own. Sitting down beside Jin he laid his arm around his best friend's shoulder. "Jinnie, you've been sitting like a statue for the last 15 minutes. Please say something." Sandeul nodded his head at that, finishing his beer.

Jin just nodded. He looked at his friends and sighed . He knew he was being selfish, but for once in his life he wanted to be selfish. Being the oldest member of his band, he always thought of the other members before himself, but this time, he wanted to place himself first.

 Sighing again he chugged down his beer bottle. "If I ask you guys to do something for me, will you do it?" Jin asked looking pleadingly at his friends.

Both Ken and Sandeul felt relieved that he was saying something, finally.

"Of course Jin,we are best friends. You know we'll do anything for you" Sandeul said. "Except killing someone. You know, I don't wanna go to jail!"

Jin laughed at that, a nervous laugh. Ken caught that. "What do you want us to do Jin?"

Jin sighed again, for the umpteenth time, "go on a trip with me?"

Sitting in a cab Bogum and you were catching up. "I hate that we are graduating in 3 months! I can't believe I won't get to live with you anymore! I want to stay with you forever!" Bogum sighed dramatically, pouting.

"Aww, Gummy, you're too sweet!" you pinched his pouting lips in a tight grip, "I wanna puke now" you said, ducking your head to hide your red cheeks while he was swatting at your hand. 

Moments like these made your heart flutter. After all he was your first crush. 

When you came to LA as an 18 year old foreign exchange student, you were curious and afraid. He was the same too. It was the first time you both were away from home, alone.

You both were like the social outcasts, the silent Indian girl and the gay Korean guy. So you two bonded. Then you became best friends. 

He would share everything with you. From his food, to his books, his notes, his secrets, his feelings and eventually his apartment. You did the same for him. You both were each others' support system. 

But staying with him became hard after the sixth month of meeting him, when you realized your true more-than-best-friends feelings  for him, even though you knew he was gay. After all the heart wants what it wants. How he cared for you, how he would scold you when you got hurt, how he pampered you- made you fall for him more and more everyday. 

 Sometimes you would feel as if he was not gay, maybe because you didn't want him to be. But after you caught him in action once, you controlled your feelings. You even scored him dates like an ideal best friend.

After you topped in every exam, everyone wanted to be your friend and you both became the most popular students of your university. Everything went well from then onward, except your messed up feelings.

"...yo dude! Are you still alive in there" you came to your sense when you saw Bogum waving his hands in front of your face. "Yup, just thinking about the last 5 years" you said. His eyes softened at that and he ruffled your hair.

"We still have 3 months left together as roommates and who said I'll leave you alone? I'll follow you wherever you go! So cheer up Y/n." 

You both smiled at that and looked outside the window, taking in the familiar neighborhood in the comfortable silence.

Jin was chewing his lips. After he asked his friends to go for a trip, for three months at that, they became silent. 

He didn't want his friends to be in trouble with their companies .He didn't want to be alone for 3 months either, thinking about what happened last week. It was something he had told only three people, Bang PD, Ken and Sandeul, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"So you want the three of us to go for a vacation for three months, did I hear you correctly Jin?" Ken was the first to break the silence. Jin nervously glanced at both of them. Both were carrying serious expressions, and he nodded meekly looking down. his ears going red.

"So, where are we going partner!" Sandeul shouted, since he couldn't maintain the serious facade. Jin felt as if a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders hearing that. Flashing a huge smile he wrapped both of them in a huge hug. "You guys are the best." 

"We know!" Sandeul cheered. "Let's plan our trip, yeah?" Ken said patting Jin's head lightly. And the three of them started planning for the trip.

Namjoon knew something was wrong with their bubbly Jin hyung. 

Jin was not himself for the last two weeks. He didn't crack dad jokes, he didn't dance randomly whenever his favorite song was playing, he didn't protest when Jungkook was messing with him or V stole his lobsters. Namjoon noticed that, and he was worried.

He was worried because one night Jin came to his studio, very drunk and said he wanted to leave the band.

That's something which really startled Namjoon, because he knew that their Jin hyung was a very responsible person and he would never do anything without having a proper reason. And he had never seen Jin that drunk.

Namjoon squeezed the bridge of his nose and entered his room. He felt uncomfortable and morose, he didn't even want to celebrate his birthday which was half an hour away. Heading to his bedside table to grab the bottle of water he found something else on it. 

It was a flask with an envelope on top. 

"Oh? Who put it here?" he picked up and opened the flask and sniffed,  it was seaweed soup. Getting the hint who put it there he quickly opened the letter, excited. And he was right.

Dear Joon-ah

I know  you are stressing right now, maybe my actions caused that. I am sorry. Forgive your hyung. 

When you open this present, I'll not be in the dorms, so make sure to heat the seaweed soup before you eat it. I'm sorry I couldn't get you any gift. But I promise I'll get you a gift next time we meet. 

Happy birthday my dear dongsaeng! I'm so proud of you. Don't stress and enjoy the vacation.

With lots of love

Jin Hyung

"Ah, Hyung!" Namjoon whined, smiling slightly, and wiped away the tear that slipped his eyes, hugging the flask close to his chest. His mood had lightened up.

"Just be alright hyung, that's all I want."