Shattered

Fragment Three

I've never been the type to do much good for humanity. I'm what you would call the opposite of that, a psychopath. I've never cared about anyone else's feelings and maybe, slightly, not even mine. My mom was never loving either, at the end of the day, the reason she hung herself was because she was missing self-love.

My grandma, complete philanthropist. She cares too much for people and hence the reason she hasn't kicked me out yet. She believes I will change. Personally, do I believe I will change?

I tell her, "Not in a trillion years."

And then she always responds with her same, idiotic, Christian response.
"The Lord says everyone has a chance to change. Everyone has a chance to develop and grow, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. Believe in yourself Zenny, be your best."

To hell with that. What's the purpose of change if your mind never will? What's the purpose of change if your change is against your freedom, your hopes, and your adventures? I will never be my best, reason being is that I don't have a best. I have my insignificant little tears, my giant but shallow breakdowns, and my broken but replaceable heart.

As I hugged my grandmother, I told her what I needed to say.
"I'm going to a boarding school that the rich people are opening in America. I have a friend who'll be able to sneak me in. Don't worry about me, ever, I'll always be fine, trust me. I think this will be a great opportunity to, how you tell me, 'Grow and Develop.' I'm leaving tomorrow. Please, let me leave peacefully. This is what I want."

Of course, she didn't understand, but she cared, and therefore she just nodded her head and cupped my cheeks in her experienced hands. She gave me a piece of paper and told me to read it when I got to America. I agreed and headed to my room.

The next day I woke up, as ready as I ever was to escape from reality, and grabbed my worn down suitcases. I met with my grandmother at the door, gave her the fakest hug I had ever given anyone, and waved as I left. I could hear her crying, worried tears, warning me about what I was about to do.

As I stepped on to the railroad, sounds of an approaching train started to be heard, and as the gleaming lights of the huge machine shone on my body, I grabbed onto its hanging ladders and was gone with the wind.