best friend | 5sos

#101

The sound of the alarm woke both Lexi and Ashton up. Ashton unwrapped his arms from around Lexi and went over to his nightstand, getting his phone and turning off the alarm. Lexi got up as well, scooting back to her side of the bed and staring at Ashton.

They were both silent for a short period of time whilst Ashton put his phone back on his nightstand. He turned back around and looked at Lexi, who had scooted away from him.

"So," he said, rubbing his eyes and feeling the bump on his forehead from last night, wincing when he touched it.

"So," Lexi replied, fixing the t-shirt she was wearing and wrapping the duvet cover around herself. Ashton looked at her and bit his lip. They really both had no idea what to say. It was like there was a wall built in between them and they didn't know how to get rid of it.

"Lexi." Ashton said, crawling closer to her and reaching for her hand. She let him, staring at their intertwined hands rather than Ashton's face.

She had no idea what to say to him. "I only want you to be happy, I hope you know that." He said, making her nod softly. She just didn't know what would make her happy. She sighed, taking her hand out of Ashton's grip and staring towards the other side of the room.

"Why are you feeling this way, Lexi. Tell me." Ashton said, trying to understand what the girl was thinking and feeling but instead feeling so lost. "I don't know what it is Ashton." She repeated, unsure what to say.

"Well what is making you feel this way?" He asked her, furrowing his brows. "Is it the travelling? The touring? The weather?" He asked, getting up from the bed and pacing around the room. Lexi bit her lip and went quiet. "Is it me?" Ashton stopped pacing and turned around, facing the girl he so dearly wanted to hug and call his.

Lexi didn't know what to say. She didn't know what she felt. The feelings were unexplainable. "Lexi?" Ashton said, his eyes turning watery by now. "I don't know what it is! Okay!" Lexi said, raising her voice at him. She unwrapped herself out of the duvet cover because she suddenly felt very hot. 

"Ashton maybe we should just take a-" she started saying and widened her eyes, scared to finish the sentence. Ashton gasped, "don't you dare!" He yelled, pointing his finger at her. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, you know you don't mean it!" He yelled, sitting down on the bed and staring at the girl in front of him.

Lexi was still too afraid to look up in to his eyes, his gorgeous eyes, the ones she loved so much. She was scared that if she did, she would end up forgetting everything and she wasn't sure if she wanted that to happen. "Maybe it's for the best." She said, tears now rolling down her cheeks as well.

"No!" Ashton yelled, reaching out for her wrists and holding on to them tightly. "You can't do that. I need you, Lexi. I need you here so I can breathe. I need you here so I can live." He said, tears now running down his cheeks uncontrollably whilst he raised his voice at her. "Ashton!" Lexi yelled, trying to pull her hands out of his grip.

"No, Lexi, you can not do this to me!" He yelled again, holding on tighter. "Ashton can't you see I am fucking suffocating?" She yelled back, finally looking in to his eyes. They were red of tears and his cheeks were stained with them. His top lip shivered as he stared at Lexi, her cheeks just as tear-stained.

Ashton slowly took his hands off of Lexi's wrists and let go. Lexi choked back a sob and looked back down. She was still wearing his t-shirt, she was still wearing the rings he had given her, she was still wearing the necklace he had given her. He had given her everything she could ever ask for. All his love, all his support. Yet she hurt him so much.

Lexi had a habit of pulling the people she loved most down with her, and it was a bad habit. She knew she shouldn't have let it get this far. "I'm suffocating, Ashton. I can't do this." She whispered, wiping her face.