SECRETS | D.S

twelve

Studio work was back in full swing after New Year's.

Dan returned to a quiet studio space, alone with his notebook and an aged piano once again.

He'd gotten used to the silence, to not having the guys around, and although he missed it at times, this brought about a feeling of nostalgia in him, reminded him of his uni days when he'd sit and write alone in his room, a safe place, able to do what he wanted even if it sounded like utter rubbish at first.

Needless to say, he sort of loved and hated his first songwriting attempts, songs he'd spent some time on, written from personal experiences, many of which hadn't been too thrilling to have a song written about them but he'd written them honestly at least.

Everything felt different now; he felt so far removed from the life he'd once had, a simple life, but also one without the chaos he found himself caught up in now.

A sigh escaped him as he turned to the lyrics he'd scribbled down. They were decent at best but not what he wanted as a finished product. This was where he, at times, missed the boys. He'd take something to Kyle if ever he'd been uncertain about it, or have Will give him another way of saying something if the  lyrics didn't quite flow into one another.

Now, however, he sat alone... he had to figure it out by himself if he got stuck.

Katie had caught her flight home yesterday and although the didn't want to admit it to himself, he missed her.

She'd offered company he'd so desperately needed despite telling himself he wasn't lonely since the band's breakup.

He'd catch himself staring at his phone every few minutes, waiting for her to reply to his message, and it was keeping him out of work.

She distracted him but in the best way possible.

If only things were easy for once, if only she was here and he wasn't so caught up in work.

Work he was beginning not to enjoy anymore...

He loved music; but he hated this. Perhaps he was tired, perhaps he needed a change... but he wasn't sure what to change. He'd thought that leaving Bastille would be the change he'd needed but clearly not - he still felt stuck.

Stuck in an endless loop.

A knock on the door made him look up to see Mark standing there with two cups of coffee.

"How's it going?"

"Not too well," Dan mumbled, standing to stretch his legs. "I just... feel... I dunno, mate... it's like my head is empty..."

"It happens to the best of us," Mark assured him, "you just need some time to figure it out..."

"We don't have time," Dan reminded him, "the album is due to come out this year and i can't even write a damn song..."

Mark's smile softened.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Dan. Creativity doesn't happen on demand, you know that better than anyone. Give yourself time."

Dan nodded with a sigh. He was right, as always.

"And Dan? Go home, go sleep, you look like shit"

This sparked a smile.

"Cheers."

"See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Thanks, mate."

As much as he was grateful for Mark's concern, home was the last place he wanted to be.

Because he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts now.

He made his way to his local pub for a pint; anything to occupy his mind, and sat down near the window, staring out at the grey streets.

Before he could let his thoughts wander, his phone buzzed on the table and his stomach flipped when he saw that it was Katie.

Katie: so sorry I didn't reply sooner, it's been a bit crazy here. Hope you're doing well x

Dan smiled as he typed out his reply:

Dan: no problem (:

Katie: how have you been?

Dan: alright, thanks - back in studio. You?

Katie: sounds eventful (: anything new?  I'm doing well, thank you, suppose I miss London.

Dan: come back, then (: and yeah I dunno, maybe, I've kind of got no inspiration at the moment...

Katie: What are you hoping to write?

Dan: currently working on new material - although to be honest, I'm sitting in a pub drinking away my sorrows

Katie: as one does ;) and no, genius, I meant what type of song are you trying to write?

Dan smiled.

Dan: of course... uh, you know, the usual ... another sappy stupid love song...

Katie: can't help you there

Dan: what you've never been in love or...?

Katie: I didn't say that... but yes, I suppose I haven't.

Dan: that's a good basis for a song

Katie: don't you dare

Dan: already done :D

Katie: glad I could be of some inspiration -__-

Dan: don't worry, I'll leave your name out

Katie: you say that now ...

Katie: I have to go, we've got an event tonight, I need to help set up (: have a good day further x

Dan: good luck x

Dan set his phone down, his smile still glued to his lips.

And suddenly, his day had become a whole lot better.