The Chronicles Of An Insomniac Pakistani Teenager

From the Ashes, He Rises Anew

12th August, 2014

My heart was ticking like a bomb. Today was D-day or Result Day and I could feel cold sweats all over my back. I took one last deep breath and headed inside the office. The principal, as is customary has a small talk before handing in your results. She goes on about how I did  better than expected (I had Cs, Ds and Es in my mocks) and tells me my result. 3 As 4 Bs 1C 1D. Not exactly scholarship material but not too shabby either. I was however expecting one more 'A' but meh, guess God (or the CIE examiner) had other plans. Though, I wasn't exactly 'overwhelmed by joy' or felt like jumping down a well. I guess you could say, I was satisfied. I worked my arse off during the last weeks to the point it was affecting my health and just thinking about those weeks of cramming still gives me the chills. I even did better than some of the kids who spent day in day out at tuitions.

In other words, I have no regrets.

17th August, 2014

So, I managed to get into 2 colleges,  haven't yet decided which one I'll go into. They weren't my first choices but it's alright all things considering. Though, it is a bit of a wake up call when you don't get into your preferred college or university and I guess I can speak for everyone on that one. Like a little nudge into the uncertainty of proper adulthood. These past few days have given me time to reflect, I know my mistakes and I'm not going to let history repeat them. Guess you can say, I'm finally getting my sh*t together.

Since I don't know anyone there, save for one or two, it'll be a interesting social experiment for me. A clean slate. No same faces, no past history for anyone to make reference of. I'm not the same awkward, gullible and easy-to-push around kid I was many years ago. Though, I wonder what affect this has had on me. That plus some of the domestic problems I've faced in my dysfunctional family, I think its made me more cold, calculating. Not in the sense, that I'm not emphatic or anything in the sense that I feel less. I'm cynical even in happy moments.

23rd August, 2014

'Bonus summer vacation' or the few-weeks-before-college-actually-starts is fun and all but as with all things, my ADHD has enough of it too. I never though I'd say this but do I really miss the hectic daily routine of school? Don't get me wrong though, I'm a night owl, so that does conflict with school timings. Sleeping and waking up whenever you want beats waking up in the morning murmuring '5 minutes more' until your mom busts into your room and yanks you from your bed.