So Close (a James Hetfield story)

Chapter 16

I hope you are all as thrilled to see Jamie and Leila together as I am. Yeah, yeah, I know, it took them long enough, so I'm not going to drag out the next step. They've waited too long to be together emotionally and physically, so with that, be aware, this chapter has sex. Hopefully it plays as natural, emotional and sexy, but it's still sex. If you have an aversion to sex scenes or it makes you uncomfortable, you've been warned.

Dreamily, I stared out the window, rubbing Jamie's necklace between my fingers as I caught glimpses of the dark waters below as we drove over the Bay Bridge, joining the exhausted masses as they made their way back home to the East Bay after a night of revelry in the city. I wasn't wishing for sleep though, I was too full of thoughts and feelings laid bare to even consider it. It had been one full hour since James had told me he loved me, and the words still hadn't fully sunk in. Even now, sitting next to him as he drove us back to my apartment in Berkeley, my hand wrapped snugly in his, I still couldn't quite believe that it was real. He loved me. And not as a best friend, not like a sister. He was in love with me. He'd always been in love with me as it turns out.

Moments after revealing his feelings...and my smartass response...he was pulling me into his arms, his lips touching against mine softly, all the love he felt and had always felt, came pouring out in the way he held me tenderly and in how his mouth moved sweetly over mine. Gently, he kissed me over and over until I was a trembling mess, his strong embrace the only thing keeping me standing upright. Finally he lifted his mouth from mine and looked down at me, his expression a mix of satisfaction at my response and wonder at his own. We stared at each other for a long time, marveling in silence at the shift in the universe. 

He was the first to speak, though his voice was low and rough. "I've wanted to do that for so long."

"Me too."

His face clouded a little. "I'm sorry for..."

I pressed fingers to his mouth. "No apologies Jamie. It doesn't matter how we got here, it only matters that we are."

Looking down at me, his eyes were bright with emotion as his lips stretched into an earnest smile. "Yer the most beautiful girl I've ever known Leila...inside and out." Gently he stroked my face with his fingers. "You were right, from the very first time I saw you...it was love."

His cheeks flushed red; I understood how hard it was for him to talk about his feelings.

"Shit," he continued, pushing through his discomfort, "back then it never even occurred to me to think of girls as anything but a pain in the ass like my sister. But I saw you sittin' there at piano lessons that first day, and damn if I didn't think you were an angel like my mom had told me about. She said they were the most beautiful creatures created by God, and their beauty was so bright, it almost hurt to look at them. And there you were, just like she'd described."

"Oh Jamie." I was completely blown away by his revelation.

He looked away in embarrassment, and I waited quietly until he recovered his composure.

"From that day on, the only thing I wanted was to be in yer light, feel that goodness touchin' me. But as I grew older, I became afraid."

"Of what?"

His expression darkened. "I was afraid that I didn't deserve someone like you, that I was wrong to love you. I was scared that you would find out how I felt...and you'd leave me."

Without thinking, I stretched up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down for a tight hug.

"I would never leave you," I whispered fiercely against his ear.