When It all Falls Down

Prologue

CJ

July 21st

The road was twisting and turning, and my tired eyes could barely concentrate on which way I was going. Not that I really knew where that was anyway. All I knew was that this city would look so much better in my rearview mirror, actually seeing the 'Welcome to Missouri' sign in my rearview was an even better plan.

I couldn't leave though, leaving would make me the exact person I don't want to be. My mother. Although, recent events have made even the closest people to me question my actions.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I saw my aunt Catelynn's smiling face on the screen. I answered, but let her be the first to speak. "Where are you?" She sounded terrified, as if I had just committed a crime and was running from the police.

"Why does it matter?" I asked, and she scoffed. Sometimes I really didn't know if Catelynn loved or hated me. When we were at her house just hanging out she loved me like I was her own child, but when either of my parents were around-which didn't happen much with my mother- it was like I was a disease. She would act like she hated me.

"Why does it matter? Because you stormed out of here and now your parents are fighting. Kaleb is sorry for what he said CJ. Come home, Claire needs you, and I need to tell you something important before you try to leave," she said.

Kaleb wasn't sorry, he meant every single word that came out of his mouth. He was supposed to be my best friend, but as soon as things looked to be going downhill he dropped what was weighing him down. Me.

I couldn't leave Claire alone though, not while our parents were having full out war downstairs.

"I'm coming home for Claire, not for you," I said and hung up the phone. I didn't care about what she had to say. All that matters is that my sister is okay.

****

As soon as I got out of my truck I could hear my mother screaming at someone. When I didn't hear someone scream back I knew it was either directed towards Catelynn or Claire. I ran into the house to find Catelynn sitting at the kitchen table, her hands covering her face. Neither of them noticed my presence.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry Lauren," Catelynn cried into her hands.

"You're sorry? Sorry will never make up for the years I had to see the evidence behind why my husband stopped loving me," my mother screamed. It was a different kind of scream though. This was a sad scream, not an angry one. I could feel her heart breaking as she said it, but I had no idea what she meant. "What are you looking at?" Her attention was turned towards me now. "Get out of here!"

Instead of staying around and hearing my mother scream I ran up the stairs to find Claire. I knocked on the door and tried to turn the knob. It was locked. "Claire, it's me," I said and I heard her moving around behind the door.

The first thing I noticed was that her eyes were bloodshot, and tears were still flowing down her cheeks. Second, I saw that her hair was cut. Horribly cut. "It's horrible," she said and I followed her into her room.

"What happened to it?" I asked as she threw herself onto her bed.

"Cody happened." I rose my eyebrow at her. "I yelled at him so he took the gum out of his mouth and put it in my hair. Mom couldn't get it out, so she just cut it off. Now I look like a boy." The way it looked mom might as well have just shaved her head. There was maybe a half an inch of hair left. She sighed and sat back up. "Is dad back home?" She wiped away a tear and looked up at me.

"Back home? Where did he go?"

"He went looking for you," she said. "He should be home soon. Once mom tells him you're home."

"Claire why was your door locked? You know mom would never hurt you, even if she's mad," I said, changing the subject.

"She hurts you, what's stopping her from hurting me too?" I turned my head to look at her.

"What are you talking about?" I was shocked by the accusation. Maybe if someone else would've said it I wouldn't have been worried, but Claire can't be afraid of her own house. Not like I was.

"I've known the whole time. Since the first time she pushed you. I was there."

"You don't know what you're talking about. She didn't push me, she bumped me. It was an accident." She couldn't know. She will not be afraid of her mother. She needs a mother.

"So every single time has been an accident?"

"Claire, this is ridiculous. Do you even hear yourself? Why would mom do that to me?"

"Because maybe you aren't hers."

I laughed. "Maybe I'm not hers?" I kept laughing. "Okay, let's entertain this idea for a second. If I'm not mom's kid, who's am I?"

"I haven't gotten to that part of my theory yet," she said.

"But how will I ever find my real mother?" I pouted and she punched my arm. "You have to get these stupid thoughts out of your head. It's going to drive you crazy."

"Why are you protecting her?"

"From what? Claire she didn't do anything to me. I'm clumsy," I said and shrugged my shoulders. Her face turned red.

"Stop defending her! Are you afraid of her?" She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

I wasn't afraid of my mom, but I was afraid of my siblings losing her too.

"No Claire, you're the one who needs to stop. You're just mad that she had to cut your hair. Mom may not like me as much as she likes you, but that doesn't mean she's going to hurt me, or that she would ever hurt me," I said and she turned away from me.

"Get out," she demanded.

"Claire."

"OUT CJ."

I stood up and made my way to my own bedroom, which was just on the other side of the hall, right next to the steps. The same steps my mother pushed me down 9 years ago.

At the bottom of the steps stood Catelynn. I was surprised she was still here. "Get Claire, we need to go," she said with a worried expression.

"Why?"

"Just get your sister and let's go." Claire obviously heard us from inside of her room, because now she was standing in the hallway. She had a winter hat to hide her hair and she shared the same confused expression as me.

A/N: 

Hey everyone! Sorry I've been away for literally years. 

I remember starting this story about a year ago, and I could never really find out what I was going to do with it.  Finally, I started to revisit it and work on it and I think I've got it down. Or at least I hope so. (fingers crossed). 

I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and I hope you enjoy the whole book. 

Love you all 

~Ashley