Just another bottle

Namjoon

    I'll pick up these broken pieces till I'm bleeding.
  Namjoon has always had a knack for writing lyrics, especially when he needs to keep his emotions in check.
  Perhaps that's why he's found himself surrounded by papers, some crumbled, torn, thrown. Others lie close to him, and his hand is sore from how long he's been writing.
    His handwriting has gotten sloppy from too much exertion, but he doesn't stop. Eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, mugs beginning to pile up from his caffeine shots. He's sure that if he hadn't downed cups of coffee, he'd of passed out by now.
    The lyrics are darker than ever before, some so depressing that he can't believe that they actually came from him. So aggressive and resentful that his writing grew larger and larger until he had to take a pause. For some, writing is an outlet. An escape.
    For namjoon, it's all that's keeping him in check with reality.
He's accepted that Yoongi is six feet in the dirt, with a pretty gravestone the only thing remaining that they can touch. Look at. Leave meaningless objects that will ultimately die along with their friend.
    Seven years.
Namjoon and Yoongi had been close for seven damn years, and in a blink of an eye, the older man is gone. No goodbye besides a shitty letter that didn't explain anything at all.
  He has that exact letter right beside him, the only paper he hasn't been careless with.
    The words leave him bitter, agonized, confused.
   I'm sorry, to all of you. I love you, keep your heads up. We'll see each other again. This isn't a goodbye. It's see you later.
   That's it. The entire letter, a few tiny sentences. All they were left with, their friends life slipping between their fingers like desert sand. No further explanation, and it leaves namjoon with so many unanswered questions.
   You destroy anyone you love.
  His writing grows more frantic when his eyes water, free hand raising up to wipe at his sharp eyes harshly. His vision has gradually gotten more blurry over time, but this song is almost finished. He can't stop now.
    Yoongi could write for days on end, this shouldn't be a challenge.
  He looked up to Yoongi like a son would a father, as odd as it sounds. Yoongi may not of thought he was valuable, but he was utterly wrong. He was so hardworking, so talented and so effortless at the same time.
   Everything namjoon strived to be.
  He's failed as a leader. What kind of leader let's his friend slip so far into depression that he ends his own life? What kind of leader pushes and pushes until Yoongi couldn't take it anymore? What kind of friend is he?
   Namjoon has always been filled with self doubt, always thought he wasn't good enough to be in his position. He had wanted Yoongi to take his place.
   Now, that can't happen and he's left wondering what he could've done to change this.
  I never meant to make you bleed. I'll be a better man today.
  He finishes the song in the AM, dropping his pen. Having to rub his hand thoroughly to rid of the aching. It's a long song, heartfelt and deep. He's sure he will begin with production soon, but as of now he can barely think straight.
    Again, a pant of guilt strikes him. Yoongi would of had another coffee and then went right back to work. The man was ruthless towards himself, and kind to everyone else. The little gestures spoke much louder than his little jabs. Yoongi was.. he was perfect.
   And now he's gone.
  His best friend of seven years, his companion and platonic soulmate. Gone.
    You were created for more than to die in this place.