Untitled; It doesn't need a name to be famous.

Chapter 10 - The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Me

"Sometimes I wonder; will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize...heh, God left this place a long time ago..."

Can I just gush over my girl Satsuki for a second? When I met her back in Ohio, she had a quiet  and shy demeanor, You look in a textbook and you found her picture under otaku. As we got closer, I started to question myself. Was I really happy with my self image? Turns out; no I wasn't. Yeah, I could draw, but that about all I could do. Trust me, I wasn't sad with myself, just disappointed. I realized self confidence is not just thinking I'm beautiful and free to be who I am, but also includes being confident in my decisions and to trust myself to be committed to myself and others.  She made me jealous. But the good kind of jealous. I was never motivated, never wanted to improve. But now, I see her as my rival, which makes her my equal. 

That probably would be shit to understand if I put it on paper. 

I take sequential peaks up at the stage to  study her and to make sure I draw her outfit in a flattering way. I also have on the other side of the page a quick sketch of Kamyrin and myself. Not to say that I'm proud of it, but I'm definitely not gonna erase it!

The sound of the final note and clapping soon fills the room, and I soon come to and follow suit. The performers bow on the stage and some carefully make their way down the stairs while other just leap from the ledge. I scan the crowd for Satsuki and finally spot her, sucking on a blow pop. Not very attractive if you ask me. "How was I?" 

I open my sketch book and flip to her sacred pages. "You were fuckin' fantastic!" She snatched the book on instinct, but she's the only person I allowed to do that, so it was fine. "Is this really what she looks like?" She shoved the book back into my bag and yanked me across the auditorium to the Wicked poster pasted on the wall. We stare at it for a second and I pull out my sketch. "Well," I shrug. "I don't thing it's that inaccurate." Satsuki proceeds to pose next to the model on the poster portraying Glinda. "Yeah, you right! She looks exactly like me! If she had bigger tits, were Asian with black hair and brown eyes."

I giggle with her and stick my pretend microphone in her face. "So how does it feel to finally be here on Broadway, miss Satsuki? Anybody you'd like to thank for you're success?" She plays along and taps the eraser of the pencil and clears her throat. "Um yes, I'd like to thank our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. My wonderful friends Calueb and Retro."

"Wait, Calueb's only a friend? When was this?"

"Uh...." Redness overcomes her face and she shifts from foot to foot. "Satsuki," I press.

"I mean, be honest; can you see me and Calueb... like, together?"

"What?" I stop and look down at her fiddling with her bag. "Did I miss something? Aren't you two not already dating?"

"No, not like that! Like, married, husband and wife, yah know, that kind of shit..."

Yeah, I know. I know about love and all it's complications and there's no such thing as love at first sight. At least, not for me, but I see the way Calueb looks at Satsuki when she just comes off the stage, or even when she's um... throwing up from hangover. But, that's some seasoned love right there. 

"You know what just forget I said something. Exit, stage right!" She continues to shuffle her way out the door, into the hallway, and right smack into Jaden.