Raison d'être

Chapter 11

Roseanne arrived at the café earlier than she promised scared to tell her the truth that was untold from Roseanne. But unexpectedly Jennie also did, she arrived fifteen minutes early that promised. Roseanne felt really proud of her as she grow up to be a time keeper. "Jennie!!" Roseanne stood up and  yelled her name to get her attention as Jennie walks to her with a smile. "Jennie, I have something to tell you..." Roseanne looking down to her shoes and said those every words with her sad tone. "Me Too!!" Jennie said excitedly, Roseanne then forced a smile on her face to describe for how happy Jennie is but deep down Roseanne felt like all of the moments, all of the memories with Jennie was just to hard to let go as they grew together knowing each other's as their very best friend in the whole wide world.

"I gained more than 1k followers on Instagram Rosé. I am now an Instagram-famous" Jennie said jokingly and smiled. Roseanne just caked  the forced smile on her face since Jennie start talking. 'How did my friend change into this? Where is my old Jennie? Where is my old shy Jennie?' At that point of thoughts Roseanne burst out crying. Jennie starts to freak out worrying about the secrets she kept away from Roseanne, worrying either she knew about it or not. Jennie then worriedly ask. "Why are you crying? Are you perhaps crying because of me Roseanne?" 

"I'm not crying because of you. I'm crying because I've been stabbed in the back by those who I needed the most, the times I have felt alone when I couldn't afford to be. I'm crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are..."Jennie was worried at this point and freaking out on what Roseanne is going to say.

"..We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone—but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy. The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It's what unites us, but I guess this is our last. I know what you did Jennie, stop wearing the mask."

Roseanne spilled out the truth with tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes full with tears. While Jennie's eyes was wide as a football-pool thinking that everything was a dream, not wanting to hear those words, those phrases from Roseanne's voice, not wanting to see those words, those phrases coming out from her lips.

"When my heart was unlovable and attached with emptiness, when I was fragile and loneliness consumed me, you still loved me." Jennie said in a gentle voice sincerely as Roseanne stood up. Roseanne shift her head to the side not wanting to turn back to Jennie she said, "I've suffered enough Jennie. You changed to much, you also didn't kept the promise we did back then." With a cold tone and stare she starts to walk until Jennie pulled her wrist wanting Roseanne facing her. "R-r-rose... please.. please... we've been best friends for years already, please don't leave me... p-p-plea-se give me a second chance Rose..." Jennie said stuttered because of her tears and sobs. Without the trust of herself, Roseanne stopped walking and-" How would you feel when I say 'I'll come back again' ? If I were you I wouldn't believe it. Also, don't call me Rose again." coldly and left Jennie hanging there.

Jennie knelt down as the rain started to pour as much as her tears. "My movements are all for myself, how can I forget about you...I wish I can open the time where only we can exist. If I could, only if I could. What if I stopped, and looked back would I have changed?"

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Roseanne arrived home wet and leaned at the door as she closed it slowly. Tears flooding down from her cheeks, 'How can I forget about you Jen... How can I forget about you, even when I'm asleep I look for you unknowingly. I think its a lie that I want to forget about you. '

Roseanne took a bath and lied down on her bed, and dreaming about those times. The times where no one was between us, where the problems we face together not wanting neither one of us to suffer alone. The promises we did together, the times when we decided to skip our classes, the times where laughter could only be hear, only those times. Without realising she smiles as a tear escaped her eyes again.'Memory is a roomy storehouse like the ocean, I am lost in them all day. Even the loneliness that I'm feeling are traces of you. So I force my eyes to shut and just try to endure through this day, only today.'

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Jennie walks in the rain, the heavy rain pours her once wet. Heavy rain she walks bringing with her a very heavy heart. Because of her madly sore heart that stops her on an empty road and she just expresses herself there, not wanting to care anything, not wanting to care about her surroundings. She felt like that day was her last day, the pain in her chest couldn't explain by any words. How hard she tries, no words can describe the feeling thats how painful it is.

A car stopped next to her. A young man came out from the car and wrapped a coat to Jennie's freezing body. He then assist Jennie in the car and drove her home. The whole ride was just silence until he asked Jennie a question."What happened?" With a worried voice he looks at Jennie then back to the road. " It's fine if you don't wanna' talk. Just to let you know I'm here to hear out" He said cause Jennie just kept the silence not wanting to talk or say a word. The ride was just in silence until they arrived home.

"WHY ARE EXPRESSING YOUR ANGER ON ME THEN?!?"

The voice startled Jennie and the man next to her that was assisting Jennie. Jennie let out a sigh, " They're fighting, again." The man then rushed inside the house.

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"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." -Maya Angelou-