{VANESSA GREY}
"Grey!" Oh shit that better not be Jackson. Avoiding him seems to be the hardest thing ever since he's freaken everywhere i go.
"Avery, did you need something?" I ask trying to ignore the sensation by body gets when coming within 2 meters of him.
Seriously I don't know what happened last night but damn it got me messed up.
"Yeah actually I do, i need to know why you're avoiding me?" He asks frowning cutely.
"I'm not avoiding you, what makes you think that?" I ask trying to act normal.
"Everytime I see you, you're running in the opposite direction. You see me in the elevator and you take the stairs" he says bluntly rolling his amazing mesmerising blue eyes.
"Dude I'm a doctor, I'm busy most days" I say obviously knowing how stupid I sound right now.
"You remember last night don't you" he states crossing his muscular arms across his chest.
"Uh..what about last night?" I say trying my best to act as clueless as my interns.
"You really wanna act clueless?" He asks annoyed.
"What happened last night was really embarrassing so I don't wanna talk about it" I say rolling my eyes trying to hide the blush from my cheeks.
"You expect me to forget the fact that you're attracted to me and that I admitted that I wanted to kiss you?" He asks confused.
"Yes." I say simply
"And what if i don't want to?" He says taking a step closer to me as I involuntary let out a shaky breath.
"Then that's not my problem now is it?" I say trying to ignore the fact that I'm feeling a little flustered at the close proximity between us.
After I finally have enough of the intense gazing and shit i decide to walk off to anywhere Jackson isn't.
It's not that I don't want Jackson, honestly I don't know what I want i just can't get involved with him. It would be unfair. No one deserves to be stuck with someone like me. Someone so broken, someone so heartless. I know Jackson's type, he wants someone who he sees a white picket fence with in their future, he wants someone to start a family with and I don't think I can give him that.
I know it's kinda early to be saying all this but this is Jackson. I know what he wants. I sigh before heading into the on call room to see Meredith laying on the first bunk.
"Wanna lay next to me?" She asks softly before smiling tiredly as I nod my head. She moves closer to the wall to make space for me.
I get on and she cuddles onto my side as we lay in silence. I listen to her steady heartbeat and even breathing. Sometimes I find comfort in listening to her breathing, it's weird I know it's just that she's the only family i have left, without her I don't know where I'd be. She's my person.
"You wanna tell me what's on your mind lately?" She asks breaking the silence.
"Nothing it's stupid" I say dismissing her question.
"Whatever has you so distant from the world is not stupid" she says.
"I miss him, I miss Mark and I can't cry about it because you have it worse. You lost your husband and you can't cry about it because you have 3 kids to be strong for but I don't and I can't cry about it because I have to be strong for you" I say as my heart literally aches for the way my life turned out, the way our lives turned out. I feel the hot tears running down my face and down my neck.
"And I don't wanna be weak I need to be strong enough for you for when you need the strength to get up again i need to be there because you're my person and I don't know what I'll do without my person" I say continuing
"Vanessa I don't think that I had it worse Okay, Mark was your bestfriend, your person and once upon a time you were going to have his baby and you lost it all. You lost everything so I don't expect you to be okay with it, i don't want you pushing your feelings into a bottle, soon it'll get to much and you'll lose yourself. I dont think we'll ever be the same again but we have to keep going okay? We just have to" she says.
"I'm struggling to find myself. I thought I'd be over it by now it's been 4 fucking years already. I don't know to live my life without Mark in it but he's dead and I'm struggling so bad Meredith I don't know what to do anymore" I say finally breaking down, full on crying, I feel my eyes turn puffy and my body shaking to the sound of my crying.
Meredith trying her best to comfort me the only way she knows how to. She wraps her arm around my waist holding me close to her.
****************
"Allison Blackburn, 17 recently diagnosed with coronary artery disease complained of shortness of breath and bp is 120 over 90." Says the paramedic rolling her into the er.
"Page Robbins please" I say before leading them into an empty bay.
"Okay I'm gonna give you an oxygen mask to help with the breathing and then we'll go from there" I tell the worried looking mom standing next to her daughter's bedside.
"1 monitor her please make sure they stay calm until her bp comes down, page me if you need me Arizona will be here" I say taking off my gloves and throw them away.
"Dr. Grey" says Robbins walking behind me as I stop to check up on my other patients.
"Robbins" I say acknowledging her as I read my patient's file.
"This girl has coronary artery disease I mean that's surgical you can fix it right" she asks confused.
"The patient's parents declined and don't want surgery their insurance doesn't cover the medical expenses" I say as she sighs.
"Why can't we just do it probono? I mean she's only 17 years old she still has her whole life ahead of her" she says sympathetically.
"You know I can't make that call Arizona" I say sighing putting down the file.
"If I get the chief on board will you do it?" She asks hopefully.
"Sure" I say rubbing my forehead as it starts paining out of nowhere.
The story of my life.
YOU ARE READING
Yours Only -Jackson Avery
Fiksi Penggemar"You remember last night don't you" he states crossing his muscular arms across his chest. "Uh..what about last night?" I say trying my best to act as clueless as my interns. "You really wanna act clueless?" He asks annoyed. "What happened last nigh...
