Beauty and the Beast

De Trop

My story doesn't have a happy ending at all, Reinhard. Far from it. Actually, let me rephrase that—my story doesn't even have an ending to it at all, because it hasn't ended.  I am still alive—at least what's left of me.
I'm sorry.
That must be bad news for you.
You didn't intend for me to live on after you. But here I am.
Life hasn't come without a price, though. That should make you happy. You ought to know that i am the only person  alive from among my family members.
The reprisals Hitler ordered against  the Czech people effectively saw to that.

I'll tell you what  happened after I was discharged from the hospital. My mother, at my insistence, brought Libena and Maria over the first day I came home. Our reunion was more like a funeral than anything else. For what seemed like an hour, we sat on my bed hugging each other and sobbing hysterically. Then they listened in mounting horror as I  told them every harrowing detail of my stay in your chateau—the things you did to me; the things you made me do to you.
How could I  not? I didn't want to be alone anymore.
I felt the overpowering need to have my friends with me, to have them partake in my sorrow. The more time I spent by myself, the more I  thought of you. The more I kept what happened in your chateau to myself, the harder it became for me to cope. Memories of you flowed through me  like my blood.

I had nightmares that you somehow recovered, realized I was missing from the hospital, and sent Gestapo men to come get me. I imagined them kicking the door down and  hauling me out of bed and out of the house to where a green Mercedes car awaited. I  imagined your sneering voice in my ear, your thin, tapered fingers digging into my arms as you hissed, "Did you really  think you could escape me?"

I would wake up screaming and drenched  in sweat. My mother would run into my room and bring me glass after glass of  water until I finally stopped hyperventilating. To all her frantic questioning I could only eke out one word—Heydrich.
I would huddle next to the wall, and she would lie on the other side of my bed, and stay there  until I fell asleep again, which usually didn't happen. Eventually she assumed I was asleep and left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

My  sorrows didn't end there, however. Questions began to rapidly arise about the fates of Anna and Axelina when they failed to return to the village. A Czech nurse's assistant at Bulovka Hospital who had been delegated to clean up after the execution spread the rumor that your men had found Anna and Axelina eavesdropping on Lina Heydrich's conversation with the nurses outside of my room about what poison to  give me, how much, etc.. To ensure their silence, Lina Heydrich had had rounded them up along with the other  nurses and doctors and gunned them down in the  hallway.

When I heard the news, I fainted. I woke up to Libena  applying ice packs to my forehead and Maria and my mother hovering over us. 
I was totally devastated. Those two had been the only companions I had had during those dark days, and now they were dead. I wondered why on  Earth they had been listening in. I wanted to know what benefit, if any, that would have had for me, or if it could have even prevented what happened in any way. I wanted them to come back. More than anything, I  owed my life to them not once, nor twice, but again and again. They had  been the medics applying field dressings to the raw, open wounds on my  battered psyche.

Do you think it ends there? No—it gets worse.

My mother eventually began losing patience with me. I could somewhat understand her feelings—to have a daughter who had formerly been a whore to a high ranking German was a disgusting claim to fame.
I only wished that she didn't treat me like I had asked for it.
Although she didn't say anything about it, I could feel the  disappointment and shame radiating off of her in waves whenever we were  in a room together. Her ire towards me only increased when more and more  villagers—our friends, our neighbors, people from my school—came  calling to ask about me. It had come as no surprise that Sophie Gabcik  aka Doe Eyes was back in town. Although Anna and Axelina had done their  best to keep the purpose of my daily presence at the chateau a secret, a  majority of the village women working there at night had caught a  glimpse of me in the slinky dresses I had been forced to wear at the  beginning of my captivity and put two and two together.
Whenever we  had guests, my mother made sure I stayed far out of sight, asking Libena  and Maria to keep me company in my room. It was only after everyone had  gone did she allow me to come downstairs. I didn't object to her  increasingly wary treatment—I was used to being treated like an  anomaly. My time with you had been sufficient enough to teach  me how to handle that.