Meeting Arin (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 10

I dealt with bouts of guilt. I was going to leave. I was. I swear. 

Arin and I kissed for the first time. It wasn't at all the kind of kiss I expected from her. Its was slow and methodical... perhaps emotionless... I had expected fast furious. It didn't last long either. Arin broke the kiss by grabbing my arms in the same manner as before and pulling me off her.

I made up she silly excuse about having work to be done and rushed away from her.

It was all I thought about the rest of the day. I felt as if I had done something wrong. I thought our first kiss would be full of passion. That she would just go crazy and take this as far as I'd let her. But obviously I was far from right.

Was she not attracted to me? Was chasing me just a game to her? Was she testing me? Was my kiss not good enough? Was she feeling guilty? I had to have an answer so I text Arin and said 'sparks? or no?'

only instead of a response she said 'you first.'. Suddenly we were both trying to convince the other to spit out an answer that we both already knew what was.

The day finally ended. Arin would now be gone for a three day weekend to see her mom. The whole time she was gone she ignored me. I would text her and get no response. It hurt. I told myself she was just spending time with her mom and to let it go. It wasn't easy but I did.

It was the longest weekend of my life. I waited until finally she was back. I couldn't keep my hands off her for a change. I was following her everywhere. We were joking and laughing like usual when out of nowhere Arin asks, "Would you be mad if I kissed someone else?" my stomach dropped into my knees.

"No. You are single." I replied smoothly. 

"I know," She replied. 

"Who was it?" I asked but I already knew. She confirmed my suspicions. "I'm leaving."

I went to walk out but Arin stopped me, "Are you mad?" 

"No, I just have work to do." I said.

I left. WE didn't really talk the rest of the day. I bit back bitter tears as I walked out of the room. I did all my work. Later I saw Arin at the smoking area and I have no idea why but I walked over to her. 

"You're mad at me aren't you?" Arin asked.

"No i'm hurt!" I screeched as hot tears fell from my eyes. Arin looked in my eyes. "Don't- Don't you look at me.." I turned on my heel and went back to work.

I cried for a while. Then I went to see Arin! Why didn't she chase after me? Did she even care how she made me feel? 

I walked into her room and she immediately started talking.

"Look, obviously I'm hurting you and that's not my intentions. I don't want to see you cry so I am going to stop this. I'm going to stop touching you and flirting with you and everything. You're married and i'm single. I'm just having fun. There is nothing wrong with having fun. I am single."

My heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. My breath caught in my throat. I felt as of my heart had literally stopped. My chest was burning.

Just having fun? Stop this? She wants out! She doesn't feel the same...

I don't even  remember if I responded. I just left.