The Colorless Land

Chapter 8: Into the Dark

Edmian fell asleep quickly after they curled up on one of the beds. Within minutes of crawling under the old, smelly blanket he was passed out asleep, breathing deeply, his pale face undisturbed by the usual nightmares. Jolette watched him where she lay, her back to the adults so that they wouldn't see she didn't feel like sleeping just yet.

It wasn't that she did not trust them fully, or at least that was not the main reason. She was, of course, far from comfortable with closing her eyes around them yet; but more than anything the thought of her family haunted her mind. With every passing hour they were moving further and further into the unknown, further and further out of her reach. Even if they got up immediately, even if they magically found the missing trail, she and Edmian could never hope to catch up with the villagers, not without a miracle. And here they were, hours from the trail, lying in two strangers' room wasting their time resting.

She felt like an idiot, a failure. What had she been doing, following a trail in the dark? What had she been doing, running out of the cave and abandoning the food and water until it was too late? Her parents were out there. Her friends were out there. They probably didn't have a warm room to sleep in. They might not have a place to rest at all, if they were even allowed to. What if they kept on being driven through the night, further and further through the mountains, away from home, forced to scramble on until their legs gave way beneath them? What if they were hurt? What if they were abandoned somewhere in the wilderness too weak to move? What if they were dead?

And here she was. Free, safe, comfortable. Making herself cozy under a blanket when she should be with them.

She twirled a strand of her long braids, watching the way the dim light reflected on them. They were golden-brown, the same shade as Maithea's hair, although her mother kept hers up in a bun to keep it out of her face while working. Her hands, too, resembled those of her mother, although the shade of her skin was different. If anything it was more like Nellary's, rosy and freckled; the one thing they had in common despite their lack of blood relation.

Jolette closed her eyes. Everything she saw reminded her of her family, and it was becoming too much to bear. She wanted to be with her parents. She wanted to see them again. No matter what horror she had to face, if it meant she was with them, it didn't seem to matter.

Aithal's voice startled her out of her thoughts, hushed to a whisper she could barely catch. "You take the other bed," he said. "I'll keep watch."

Saryana's voice replied in the same tone. "No, you don't. You've been keeping watch way too much already."

"Don't worry, it's all right." Soft footsteps moved across the room, accompanied by a shuffle and struggle. "I can't sleep yet anyway."

"You're worried, aren't you?"

There was a moment's pause.

"Don't you lie to me," Saryana said softly, but not without firmness. "I know what you're thinking. You want to go save your family, and you want to save these kids. And you know you can't do both."

Another short pause. Then Aithal gave a quiet laugh. "You know me too well."

"I've known you for about fifteen years." There was a smile in Saryana's voice. "You can't hide anything from me anymore."

Aithal laughed again. "You're right," he said. "I wonder why I still try."

They fell silent again, then he sighed. "Time is running short, Saryana," he muttered, his voice grave and heavy once more. "Preparing the journey took too long, and traveling up here took even longer. We still have to find an unguarded way in, and then we have all the uncharted leagues of the Colorless Land to cross. My family may be dead by the time we arrive, if we ever do, if nobody takes us or kills us before...if they are still alive now." His voice faltered, and he gave a soft cough. "It would have been a suicide mission with just the two of us. But with these children...we cannot go on."