Friends Don't, But We Do

2. She's Not Me

My date with Chris turns into a second date, and then a third the very next night. To say I'm infatuated is an understatement.

Plus, he's the first guy to really express interest in me in a while. Other than a few casual hookups, I haven't had a relationship since the middle of high school. It ended terribly and it took a lot of months for me to feel good about myself again.

Come to think about it, that was around the time me and Nolan got closer.

It's Saturday, and I planned to spend my day off relaxing and sleeping in before leaving for my date. We're going to dinner and probably will hang out at his place or mine, most likely have sex for the first time.

My plans to sleep until noon however, are interrupted by a loud knock on my door. I was already half awake from using the bathroom, but now I'm alert. I grumble as I exit my bedroom and rush down the stairs to open the door. Whoever it is is already knocking again.
I swing open the heavy front door and Nolan is standing there with a sheepish smile, realizing that he woke me up.

I hold the door open, letting him come in, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "I texted you," he begins, "When you didn't answer, I didn't know if something was wrong."

I squint to see the time on the microwave. "Nolan it's only eleven, I was sleeping."

"You're usually up by now," he says.

"Yeah when I have work. But it's Saturday."

"Oh," he says, his cheeks getting red. "Last year it's just that we usually got breakfast on Saturday, do you not wanna?"

How could I forget? The busyness of the past week made our summer tradition totally slip my mind. "I do, I'm sorry I just forgot. Lemme get changed real quick." He's looking through my cabinets for food and I laugh. "Would you rather eat here?"

He turns around and shakes his head. "You don't even have good cereal." It's true that I moved on from Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch. Much to his dismay.

I ignore his snarky comment and head upstairs. "I'll be quick!"

He drives, and we decide on a diner only a few miles away. If we go anywhere closer to the neighborhood we grew up in, we'll run into everyone we've ever known. Even though everyone who's ever lived in Winnipeg knows Nolan, being a bit further away gives us a better chance of being left alone.

I spend most of breakfast telling him about my dates with Chris so far. I think Nolan can tell that I really like him, because he keeps asking when I'm gonna introduce the two. I just roll my eyes, thinking, not for a while. Nolan tends to suddenly not like my boyfriends after he meets them. So far, he's been right about all of them though so I'm not really complaining.

Instead of drilling me on every interaction I've ever had with the guy, Nolan just tells me he really wants me to be happy. I thank him, and even though I know he's sincere, something so sappy isn't what I expect from him during a conversation like this.

He's taking longer than usual to eat, when usually he would scarf down breakfast food. It's both our favorite meal of the day. "Truth or dare," I say, waiting patiently for his response. He drops his fork in defeat, "truth." Never fails.

"What's wrong?"

His cheeks get bright red and he adjusts his hat before spitting it out. "I've been talking to Ty again," he says like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. I purse my lips at his guilt on full display. "And why do you look so upset about it?"

He shrugs. "Because I'm so stupid. I always forget all the reasons we broke up in the first place. I guess I always just think it might be different this time."

"Do you wanna talk through all the reasons again?" I ask. Every so often, I have to remind him and we talk it through. This girl Tyler really has him under her heel whenever he steps foot in Manitoba.

He sighs and says, "Number 1, she cheated on me." I nod, solidifying that point. "More than once," he adds. Just about the entirety of the last five months of their relationship.

"Number 2, she called my sister a bitch," he continues, listing the reasons on his fingers. I nod again, remembering that day and how awkward it was. All Maddie Patrick did was make a joke that she never saw Nolan anymore after he started dating Ty. Later that night when it was just our friends around, Ty brought it up, complained that no one defended her, and called Maddie a bitch for suggesting that she takes up too much of Nolan's time. It makes my heart race just thinking about it, because the whole Patrick family is so kind and genuine, and seeing Nolan having to defend his sister was heartbreaking.

"Number 3, she was condescending." When he says this reason, I reach across the table and rest my hand on top of his. Believe it or not, he's sensitive- especially about hockey, his only true passion. And when Ty would have snide remarks about his game, I know it hurt him more than he let show.

I don't even want to think about the season before he was drafted. He was injured for the majority of it, and she said a few times that he probably wouldn't get drafted as high as we all originally thought, and that he was getting a reputation as injury prone.

I run my thumb across the back of his hand for a couple seconds, and he looks down at the table. He knows I'm thinking of all these things, and despite us talking about this years ago, he's still embarrassed.

"Number 4," I say, deciding to take over the list, "she always wanted to argue with you." He nods. And he's such a gentle person at heart, he doesn't deserve a girl just trying to pick a fight.

"And number 5..." At this one, Nolan picks up his head and his eyes get a little wider. "You said yourself that you can't see yourself with her in a serious way."

He nods slowly, just staring off into space and not responding with words or body language. "You still wanna find someone to be in a serious relationship, right?"

It would be okay if he wasn't ready for that, if he just wanted to hook up with girls, but I don't think he does anymore. "Yeah," he mumbles. I can tell he doesn't wanna talk anymore about it right now, so I end the conversation by saying that if he's still gonna hook up with her casually, I hope he's careful to not think that she'll be a good girlfriend for him. He nods, says that he knows and that he's grateful I look out for him concerning things like this. His guy friends would never say something like that, he says.