To My Random Thoughts

To My Certain Someone pt. 1

The noise in this room is endless. It's like they can't help it but to talk. It seems like they cannot live when silence engulfs them even for a second. The wooden chair that is painted black is what I'm sitting on for almost 4 hours without even standing. It kinda hurts my back though.

My tired right arm and right hand that can't stop from writing because of the lectures and powerpoint presentations, seatworks, assignments and reminders needed to be written. It's currently our break time. I'm cleaning up my stuff then I feel it. I sort of hate it when I feel the presence of a certain someone. Once it enters the room, from the way it talks, laughs and even moves, I can feel it.

Whenever I know that it is near, I can feel and hear my heart pounding to the point I cannot even hear a single noise from this room. My breathing becomes ragged, I can feel my body stiff and for a moment, I thought I am panicking. Your presence affects me all the time. I am always pretending to sleep or trying to read the book I've always wanted yet it is hard to deny the fact that you're here. You are just here but I cannot even talk to you with my tongue-tied.

People tell me that I am 'wasting' time, that I should talk to that certain someone, I should really spend my time to that certain someone and just... be in love? Well, this is High School. This is the stage of your life where you'll be experiencing peer pressure. They don't know that I am not 'wasting' my time nor do they know that I don't want to be in love.

While I'm thinking of this, I leaned to the wall beside me and tried to sit comfortably on my chair. This instinct I've had long ago is what keeps me from talking. I'm not ready to be hurt nor to hurt someone. I am still young and learning, growing and knowing myself better...but someone says no.