Dear Diary,
Behind my smile is a hurting heart
Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart
Look closely at me, and you will see
The person I am... isn't me...
I'm never okay. Even though I pretend to be, I'm not. I walk around with a fake smile. I laugh along with my friends. But I am not happy.
There are always those people at school who everyone knows are depressed. People know that something is wrong. They don't smile. They don't pretend to be happy.
Then there is me. I fake it. Everyday.
You might wonder if I'm popular or a loser but I'm not really either. I don't sit all alone in the corner like a loser. I have a few friends, but not a lot like popular people.
When I'm in class, I'm the student teachers ignore. Teachers will talk to the popular people. They ask about upcoming sports events or if they had a good weekend. Teachers talk to the kids who aren't paying attention or get in trouble. They just act like I don't exist.
I don't mind it though. It is kinda nice. Teachers never call on me. They never announce my birthday in front of the class. It saves me from a lot of embarrassment.
During 4th hour Ethan asked me to go get pizza with him after school. I told him I would before work.
I'm so lucky to have him. He may not know what I go through, but he makes me happy. He makes it so sometimes my smile is a real one.
He makes me feel special. He makes me feel loved. I haven't felt loved in a long time.
I just got home and it is 10:17 p.m. I haven't even started my homework yet. This is gonna be a long night. I need coffee.
-Natalie
YOU ARE READING
I'm okay. -Ethan Dolan-
FanfictionNo one knows the real her. They just know the happy person she pretends to be. But under all the fake smiles it isn't pretty. You never really know what someone is going through.
