the garden; jhs • myg

funeral | 9

A/N: short/shitty chapter but there's some really fucked up stuff in this chapter, skip if you're sensitive :/

to say yoongi had mental issues would be an understatement. i mean, after banging your head on the wall even though you are trying to be stopped and hurting multiple people with no control, it should find it reasonable.

yoongi's mother was the only one who he was able to calm and control his own fits around. but yoongi's mother wasn't here anymore.

he watched his mother explain to him what the purpose of death was.

she told him it wasn't his fault, it was their father's.

she told him to be a good boy for his father.

she told him to reach his dreams.

she told him to get enough money and go to college.

she told him how to shoot an gun if anyone tried to rob them.

she told him to place it in the intruders hand after.

but this time, she loaded the gun. she pretended to be an intruder. she wanted to die. she couldn't pull the trigger herself so she had her son do it for her.

the gunshots weren't uncommon in their neighborhood but yoongi's ears rung for days after. the pain in his head never ceased.

he was six, it was 4 days before his seventh birthday.

he tried everything he could to make her come back; to let her breathe again.

he didn't cry.

tears weren't forming. he was crazy. he was fucking crazy and the only one who made it better was gone.

⇔

"you aren't gay"

"yes i fucking am!"

"hoseok i've known you since birth. you are not fucking gay."

"dad i know what i am!"

"no you don't! it's all in your head it's bullshit. you're an attention seeking whore and you know damn well you are"

hoseok sat on his bedsheets. his parents both standing at his bedroom doorway.

"son, you need to stop lying" his step-mother joined in.

"please, i'm not! i would know!"

a smack echoed throughout the decent sized room hoseok sat in. his face stung. it turned a bright red, not the blushing kind, but the kid where it made his eyes water. his parents began talking but he couldn't hear them anymore. the throbbing in his head began and played on like a drum.

it banged on the skull of his head asking for a way out. different sides of his head rocked him side to side. the little boy inside him was screaming. he wanted his mom. he wanted a happy life.

although the little boy was given every physical object he wanted in a second, he was still unhappy. he had nothing to physically make him happy. nothing that kept him from throwing himself back on the bed and letting his eyes close.

he could see his mom. his beautiful mom. he could see his adoptive mom. he could see everyone he loved before. everyone who brought him happiness was stripped away form him.

she left him. left him at the carnival. he cried for hours and hours. eventually he was put in the system and placed with his adoptive parents. being in the system is not fun.

he's never had a father.

all his moms leave him.

⇔

hoseok remembered seeing a boy after his second mom's funeral.

he was sleeping next to some grave soaked in the rain. hoseok just observed the boy.

his clothes were tattered and his converse had holes in the bottoms. hoseok took off his coat and put it on the boys shivering body. he placed an umbrella over the boy's head and hurried back to his father.

yoongi almost died that day.