our story begins in a small town in wyoming. "well, every town's small in wyoming-" SHUT UP I'M NOT STUPID JEREMY. ok now where was i? oh yeah. our story begins in a town named bapinha. a town that literally no other fucking person knows about- except its residents. two boys, one with black spiky hair with messy facial hair named smith, and another with a blonde curly mess for hair, and small ass glasses named tyler. like seriously, how does he see out of those things? i'm genuinely confused. anyway, these two boys have done SO MANY cool fucking things. like they once killed hitler, blew up mao, assassinated stalin, and contaminated the kim jong dynasty. these boys should be treated like gods. but their talents go unnoticed.
the year is 1986. the boys are both 16, and a new trouble arises from the horizon. they forgot to turn in their overdue research papers on osama bin laden. the boys rush to the school building with cigarettes in their mouths, and m16s in their hands. the boys have to dodge vietcong enemy fire from the trees, while also escaping from nazi grenades flying passed their adolescent bodies. the two jaunt over the stairs to the front door. "IT'S LOCKED!!" says smith. tyler hacks into the school mainframe to fucking blow up the door. they rush in JUST IN TIME to turn in the overdue paper. school is safe. and so is america.
the year is 1953. the boys are both 17, and more troubles appear more clearer than ever. two planes have hit the world trade center towers in new york city. smith comes up with the brilliant idea to buy plane tickets to fucking pakistan to kill osama bin laden once and for all! they run through the streets of the shit-ridden country and found the dirty arab and killed him where he stood. the boys high-fived and the city was so loud from the people rejoicing of the thing these boys just did. the world was at peace for once.
the year is 2019. the boys are 18, and the biggest trouble of all falls right on their fucking faces. reality.
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AHHHHH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! or The Crazy Tale of Smith and Tyler
Non-Fiction2 best friends named smith smithers and tyler taylor set out on a journey to stop all evil in the world with their friendship alone
