years after the fight with satan, the two lads of our story decide to call it a day for their adventuring, and sit back and drink dr. pepper and play smash bros. and eat resse' peanut butter cups in their $4,00000,000000,000000000.99 penthouse. that is until a portal magically appears below them, and they fall because gravity.
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the guys then let out a manly groan because screaming is for pussies. the portal takes like 5 billion quadrillion hours to transport them wherever it's supposed to take them, and they just continue playing smash bros. because it is boring. tyler decides to call a pizza and pulls out his huge buff massive arm and dials on his phone. but they arrive before the stupid pizza man could get there because of his shotty work ethics and motivation.
the portal sounded like woooooshh weeeppp as it closed and then the two buff awesome cool guys strolled around the unfamiliar area with keen eyesight to find anything unusual.
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they happened to stumble upon a man walking his dog, and the dog pooped on the public grass. smith said "hey that's fucking disgusting" then they beat the fuck out of this retard who thought he was cool but they were actually the cool ones. then he exploded and died. so did his dog. this new area was saved by the newcomers. however, they noticed that they were significantly older. it must've been from the portal they were in. they must've been at least 60 years old at this point. but it didn't matter, they needed to find a way home.
they came across two suspiciously familiar characters, and they stopped them and required information. their names were tith tithers and smyler smaylor. this absolutely mindfucked our dynamic duo, and then they punched these imposters and spit on them. smith whipped out his giant pristine white cock and then peed on them both. he was dehydrated, so it smelled really bad and so did the retards.
they were questioned and forced to give up information about the portal, but these new guys had no idea what to say, so tyler slapped them both simultaneously, and they said "bro stop" but he didn't, and they were almost dead, and blood was everywhere. so they told our modern 21st century heroes and helped them open a portal, but tyler just fucking killed them both and took over the operation. random alien motherfuckers came out of these chambers and started attacking, but smith, stilll having his penis out, caused them to all explode and alien blood was everywhere and it was gross.
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tyler got the portal to work, and they ended up in a random place back on earth. apparently, they had landed in japan, and they had guns and killed everyone because anime is stupid and japan fucking sucks gay cum retard balls.
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they got on a plane and headed for their childhood home in bapinha, wyoming, sat on their leather sofa that hasn't been touched in ages because of their countless adventures, and hired two hookers, after they realized they were on their last legs, and there wasn't much time left for them. they had to be at least 90 years old. they were nearing the end of their adventure called life, and they wanted to end it with a bang.
while both fucking two hot babes, they looked each other in the eye and sang god bless america together with their wilted voices, as they grasped each others' hand tightly as they slowly faded out of existence from the strain on their bodies. america was saved, and the world was finally at an everlasting peace.
