ii. Trevor

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|Two: Write a chapter in which a character takes a risky selfie and posts it on a form of social media.|

            ii. Trevor

My fingers clicked against the keyboard, banging each key as I tapped the letters. I sat in the corner with the lights off in the room, the only light shining from the computer screen in front of my face. It was barley 6 AM and I was the only one sane enough to be sitting in the media center working on a project for this weeks’ school paper. Our team was looking for a new head editor and I was running neck and neck with Audrina Lawson; someone I definitely wanted to beat with flying colors. Audrina and I were close friends, since we’ve both been on the paper the past four years of high school but being editor was something I needed. Writing for the school paper was all I had going for me right now and it wasn’t something I was going to let slide through my fat fingers.

Rubbing my chin I sighed, staring at the computer screen and hitting the delete key; erasing everything I had wrote for my topic. My free hand clung to the second Red Bull can I’ve had this morning, bringing it to my lips to down the liquid. “What to write, what to write,” I mumbled scrolling over different articles of hot topics being discussed on the web. Once I reached the bottom of the page, my eyes widened at the bold letters. THINSPIRATION . My brows furrowed at the word, “the hell,” I said astonished as I clicked the link, enlarging a website with people who were close to thin and bones. My eyes glued to the content on the page, scrolling down the page reading different quotes and stories. Minimizing the tab I went back to Microsoft Word and began my entry for the paper,

                     NOT INSPIRATION BUT THINSPIRATION?

                                the highway to beautiful.

I smiled at the title and went back to the website in search for some thinspiration. As I scrolled down I clicked and grabbed pictures and quotes that I would be useful to include in my entry. Since I had a page in the newspaper this week due to the competition for editor, I had to do it justice and woo everyone reading, giving them mixed emotions. As I continued my research and wrote my own thoughts about losing weight just to be skinny and the help surrounded by others, I kept going back to the website.

Seeing pictures of not only girls, but boys also boggled my mind. In LA it was normal for us to be heavy and overweight, we hardly ever see people who are on the thin side. To think I was the only one who hated being heavy wasn’t an understatement; and as I scrolled down I began to realize I wasn’t alone. Resting my chin on my free hand I continued to click and stare in awe at the photos of other boys’ bodies along with their current weight and goal weight.

To the left of the page I noticed a blinking button underneath the about section that read, ‘See the future you of thinspiration’. Both of my brows rose in confusion and my curiosity allowed my index finger to scroll the mouse over the button and click. A new website popped up in a fresh tab while the light on top of the computer screen turned green, signaling the enable of the webcam.

Once the site loaded I saw my own face looking back at me on the screen. My legs shook underneath the table in anticipation while my eyes hovered over the sentences about the site. Curious about future results? Send in photos of yourself: face, legs, feet, chest, groin, etc, and we’ll give you a sneak peak. See what your future self could be.

I shook my head and scoffed, no way was I going to take a nude photo of myself and send it to this website. For all I know, this could be a hoax for some pervert on the other end to get off on naked body parts because they were too lazy to make an effort at a real relationship. As I went to exit out the tab, I noticed in the corner of my eye at the bottom of the description the word ‘reviews’ flashed red. “Wouldn’t hurt,” I sighed with a shrug, clicking the list of reviews. Every review I read through had nothing horrid to say about this little app website. Shockingly, since I was expecting something along the lines of ‘ruined my reputation, pictures were posted everywhere.’ One guy even included a photo of him now with the photo the website gave him of the future skinny him. Biting the inside of my cheek, the arrow of the mouse hovered over ‘Take snapshot’ .

Different scenarios ran through my head of what could go wrong if I did this but all the negativity canceled out with the positivity and curiosity of wanting to know who I could be. “Fuck it,” I said loudly which echoed throughout the media room. Realizing how loud I was my eyes widened, looking left to right and then to the clock which read 6:30 am. Lucky me I had another thirty minutes until Mrs. Albernathy would arrival in front of her desk.

Pushing the computer chair back, I stood, removing my t-shirt in the process placing it on the table next to the keyboard. With a shaky sigh, my hands fumbled with my belt buckle and zipper until eventually my jeans pooled around my sneakers. “Let’s see the future you Trevor,” I said using my right hand to click the picture. The webcam took three pictures of me: one front view and two profile views, both left and right. I pulled my pants back up to my waist and slid the belt through while I pulled my shirt over my head, taking a seat back in the chair. My eyes widened as I watched the website take the picture and construct them, transforming my body. Instead of a 359 weight boy looking back at me, there was a thin boy who looked like he could run a mile without needed to stop and clutch his chest for air. A smile appeared on my face as I stared at what could be the future me from head to toe. Clicking save, I sent the photos to my phone and email while bookmarking the thinspiration website. Who knew thinspiration would help me write an article for the paper and my body image.

My phone beeped signaling a new message. Opening it I grinned seeing the new me on the screen, “I will be him,” I said with a grin, “I will be.”

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Dedicated to vousaimer, who is also participating in BodyPositivity's Body Positive Challenge, with her story True Beauty. x

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