Friends, but not quite

"Friends, but not quite" part 3

Warning: angst (Sorry guys this part is quite sad, other chapters will be happier I promise)

*Elain*

Since Elain return from her trip, she hadn't spent a single night without Azriel. Waking up the first thing that hit her was the coldness and empty sheets; usually, she would wake up in the embrace of his arms or his wings. But, there was no Azriel or the warmness of his body.

From the light, it seemed to be around noon. Yesterday it took Elain hours to fall asleep. Eventually, she'd got a headache from crying and sleep found her at last. She's must have slept during the breakfast or lunch for that matter.

Everyone probably assumed that she wasn't feeling well and left her alone, which meant that she would have a day for herself — a day of self-pity and sorrow. The good thing was that she wouldn't have to see Az. Being a spymaster it wouldn't take him long to figure out why Elain was like this. In fact, she could not think how she'd face him from now.

Gods. It had been so easy between them — their friendship flowing like a natural flow. And if he'd find out-

She knew that she was falling for him, but she considered it as a process. It hit her yesterday, how much she already loved him. And when he looked at her like that, when he said those things-, her mind was a mess. He only told them to make Greysen jealous, Azriel loved Mor. He loved Mor; Elain had to remind herself, he'd loved her for almost six hundred years. Of course, he wouldn't stop now, not for her.

She had to stop daydreaming about him. He was not hers. He was her best friend, and nothing else, not a lover, not a mate. And Mor was the most beautiful female in the whole Prythian. But, how could she stop thinking about him? How could she stop, when she knew the feeling of his lips on hers, the feeling of his body fitting hers perfectly, the taste of him.

Maybe the day of sitting in the room, with nothing but her thoughts wasn't such a good idea after all. But, she could not go anywhere. Because if she would she most definitely see him and that would require an explanation of why she look this miserable.

For now, Elain decided that sitting and staring at the wall was the best option.

*Azriel*

Azriel was pacing. He could not remember the last time he felt so on edge. He did something yesterday, something that made Elain upset. He recalled the evening a thousand times in his memory, but there was nothing particularly outstanding.

Maybe the compliments or kissing her in public place was too much? Perhaps she was disgusted, but he couldn't contain himself. She was so beautiful, so so stunning. Maybe she realized that what he felt wasn't just a friendship anymore, and perhaps she didn't want that.

All Azriel wanted was to fix whatever he did, and hoped that he didn't ruin their friendship. Because friendship was better than not being by her side at all, he could only hope that he didn't fuc*ed it up completely.

The worst of it was that he didn't know how to approach her. It was never awkward between them. They would share their worries, they would unleash their anger, but never, ever, has it been awkward between them. Azriel had the feeling that it would be now. And he resented it because Elain was the one person, who would never think of him as unworthy because of his scars like he, himself did. Because Elain would comfort and encourage him and-, Gods he had to fix it.

Some inner voice in Azriels head said that it could not be about Greysen. It had been ten years and Elain never even talked about the prick nicely. It was positively not because of him.

He needed the right way to approach her. What if he was just paranoid, maybe she actually didn't feel well.

Azriel could not focus on his reports that he was supposed to be reading. He scanned the pages for what might be a hundred times and remembered absolutely nothing of it. He had to resolve this riddle of Elain's before he could concentrate on anything else and the idea hit him.