After discovering the truth behind her part in Richard's life Juliette returns home. They say time heals everything, but as time goes on both break more and more inside with each passing day. Everyday life without each other isn't the same, and it i...
"So you came back to leave again?" I leaned against the doorway, trying to come off as nonchalant, but my tone was still filled with pain. I don't want to lose her, but it already felt like she wasn't mine to lose in the first place.
She stopped in her tracks, stilled turned away from me, and replied with: "I can't stay if you don't love me. I just hope you can forgive me."
I scoffed. "If you wanted me to forgive you why come all this way? Why didn't you just send a letter or finally unblocked me and just said it there!?" My tone rose, and I couldn't help the anger and hurt I felt as I said that.
"What's your problem? I'm just trying to fix things, but you're being an asshole about it. That's why I'm leaving." I could tell she was trying to be calm, which only angered me more. How could she be so calm about leaving?
"Well, how the hell am I supposed to react!?" I snap. "Don't you see seeing you, having you here, to see you leave again is fucking torture? Every corner of this house is a constant reminder of you!" The emotions I had battled with all this time had finally unleashed themselves. Zabdiel had warned me, telling me to stop hiding my emotions because an outburst like this was only bound to happen. "Every move I make naturally takes me back to a fucking memory with you!"
She looked taken aback.
"And you know what the worst part is? Having to go out into the world to millions of people saying your name and asking me if I love you over and over again. Putting on a fake ass smile for the past two months to act like nothing is wrong and you didn't leave!"
"I let you in, Juliette. You knew everything and you knew you were my weakness and as soon as you hear something bad you did the one thing I trusted you not to do which was to leave me!" She stayed quiet, listening to everything I had to say which was a lot. I never let her see this side of me, in fact, I always let shit slide even when it hurts. Closing off from all the pain is the best thing I knew how to do. I may come off as rude to most, but my strong personality is a result of that. "I know the moment you left you probably through I was the heartless piece of shit everyone thinks I am. Just know I do love you, even if I'm a dick."
Juliette looked at me for a few seconds, waiting for me to say anything else. Instead she got to see me drag a chair over, center it a few feet from the door, and grab a bottle of whatever was within reach and left. Taking a swig of it, I sat back and focused on the stinging in my throat instead of the ones in my eyes.
I waited for her something, anything. Fight back, even, but she looked at me in realization and shock the whole time. She looked uncomfortable, and like she really wanted to say something, but she didn't say anything for a solid ten minutes. Her gaze never left me, and it got to the point where she seemed to look at me in pity, which was the last thing I needed.
"Just go." I sigh, wanting to turn away and not look at her. But instead I took another swig, frozen in place, bracing myself for the second worst moment of my life. "Look at me when you leave too so I can tell the difference between the very first time and the last."
Tears came down from my eyes, and instead of wiping them I let them be. Maybe if I cry and make myself remember everything I can look back at this moment and push myself to forget her and move on.
I took good notice of the way she turned from me, grabbing her suitcase. Her index finger came in contact first, then the rest of her fingers followed in order; middle, ring, pinky and back to the thumb. Then the knuckles I had kissed so many times came down too, adding more to the grip. After I noticed the turn of her thighs in the direction of the door. The same thighs I had caressed and found wrapped myself in every night and morning. The ones I fantasized about and turned me on just from seeing a bit of them through ripped jeans. The small of her back moved gently as she walked to the door. Not in the way they did when I placed my hands to inch her closer, or when we danced, but more swiftly and determined. After the fourth swig She looked past her shoulder a little bit, her pink lips in the middle of a shaky breath, and not at all like they would curl up into a tempting smile as we walked up the stairs and into my room. Lastly I took good notice of the way falling of her shoulders and casualness in the way she walked away from me.
The final step was the hardest. My heart sunk and thudded, breaking into beating pieces that realized she really was going through with it, and she held on to the knob for a few seconds before it happened.
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J U L I E T T E
I was hesitant to open the door.
I had hurt him so bad, and it was obvious that any hope of us being together was gone because of it. Listening to him vent like that was shocking, because he was a quiet and more reserved person when it came to his emotions. If Richard was happy you could tell, but if he was sad there was no way of knowing up until now. Walking away seemed like the best option again after seeing how much I had already hurt him, it would save me from doing any more damage. I know it sounded selfish, but I don't know if I could I've with myself knowing I continued to let him down.
Hesitation sunk in when I realized there was nothing for me out there if he wasn't with me. I would go back to crying all the time, and regretting everything. Then I pictured him once he moved on and I couldn't even begin to think of how much it would hurt to see him all the time with someone else, then getting married on live TV, and hearing that he was building a future with another woman. The detachment from myself by walking away felt worse than staying and working through shit.
So I shut it.
And after I did that, I pushed the suitcase to the corner it had been in, and then I walked over to him. He didn't take his eyes away from me as I walked to him, and with a thudding heart and knowing I was risking everything left, I looked him in the eyes and began to talk.
"I'm not going to look at you as I leave. I'm going to look at you every time we kiss. I'm going to look at you every morning we wake up together and at night when we fall asleep. I'm going to wait for you and look into your eyes when you come home after a long day, and I'm going to stay because I love you and I can't imagine myself looking at anyone else the way I look at you." Richard placed the bottle aside, looking up at me as I spoke. I could see the hurt he was masking all this time, which showed he still cared. "I don't care if I have to stay here forever and ask you everyday to take me back, I would still come all the way here to see you. I love you."
Without a warning Richard stood, grabbing me by the waist and looking deep into my eyes saying, "Go, Juliette. Please.."
"I'm not walking away from you." I reply softly, weak in the knees from his touch. "I want to be here, please let me come back."
"I love you, and you love me. Don't push me away because it won't work." I added, searching his eyes for any form of emotion. "I can't lose the way I feel about you."
My heart thudded even more as I waited for him to say something. Then, without much of a warning, he collided our lips together in a passionate kiss.
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Ima leave it there. 🤠
WASSSSGOODDDD R+J fam
Lol ya probably hate me I said I would upload Monday but as we can see it's Wednesday. I low key started it on Monday, but like if I don't feel like it's somewhat good I won't post so I ended up re-writing! 🤭 yeah, shocker. And also for some reason I go back and forth between writing and the drafts don't freaking safe, and I love that for me. 😐
Well bye, I will see y'all sometime soon I really promise. 🤗
