Tell me you love me (Niall Horan Love Story)

Chapter Three

A/N: I'm WARNING you! Coarse language is included in this chapter. Do not read it if you can't handle. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. If you copy this, you won't live for long. xo)

Previously: Harry beat the daylight shit out of me and i ended up in hospital. Gwen then proceeded on the paperwork to get me discharged.

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Chapter 3

Home sweet home, after a long day in hospital it just feels great to be home. "Gwen, what day is today?" I sighed and crossed my finger, hoping that it's not mo- "Monday" Oh goddammit! I don't wanna go to school i mean look at me! Bruise, bruise and bruise... Apparently no one likes me in school. I get mocked every single day... And the 5 amazing bullies. I mean yeah, they're extremely hot. You won't be able to close your mouth when you meet them but their personality sucks. Capital S, U, C, K. I drag myself up to my bedroom, every single step i take, it just hurt so much.

1… 2…. 3…. 4… 5… 6… One more step and I’ll be in my shower….. I lift my leg with all my might and…. FINALLY. I’m in the shower bitches! Oh, you’re probably having the ‘what the fuck’ expression on your face now but it sure is a great achievement for me. Oh well moving on, I took off my clothes and turned on the tap. “OUCH!” I winced in pain as the water hit my skin. Holy shit this is terrible. Ignoring the pain, I grab my vanilla shampoo and scrub my hair clean. After doing that twice, i grab my vanilla body scrub and apply it on my body. Oh Jesus, how the hell am I going to describe the amount of pain I’m tolerating now? I quickly rinse off the soaps and step out of the shower, putting on my undergarments and cute pajamas. I combed my hair, not bothering to dry it and sat on my bed.

I pull out my diary. Yeah I mean is it a crime having a diary on your own? No? Good. I flip to a blank page and I pick up my pen… I stuff the earpiece into my ear and played ‘Skyscraper – Demi Lovato’.

Dear Diary,

I met Harry Styles yesterday and guess what had happened? Yeah you got it right, I got beaten up again. I lied to Gwen, telling her I felled in my art room and ran out to the park asking for help. It’s stupid I know, but I’m a terrible liar. What can I do? The boys are killing me day by day, literally. No one in school is willing to be my friend. Even if I ever had one, they’re always threatened by the boys. Everyone hates me. I’m 18, been bullied since grade 5. What’s new? Words to describe myself – Failure, worthless, useless, weak, stupid and ugly. I can’t tell anyone, not even my teachers, they’ll blame me for everything. Probably they’ll think that I’m a useless piece of shit too. My parents are the BEST thing that could ever happen to me. Nope, they left me last year. I’m living on my own, with my housekeeper Gwen. She is like my bestfriend, but an adult one. Everyone in my school told me I’m fat. Each time I look into the mirror, I’m scared to see my own reflection. Last week, I weighed myself, I’m 38 kilogram! Gosh. I’m pretty scared to see foods. Am I anorexic? I’ll get bullied even more if I’m… No I hope not. I just want to write everything down in this entry. My story, welcome to my life. Here it goes...

My famous nickname in school was ‘Whore’, ‘fat’, ‘slut’, ‘useless’, ‘bitch’ and a lot more. Sounds common? Yeah. I’m not going to lie, it really hurts a lot. Getting told to die every single day isn’t something easy to deal with. I’ve tried cutting myself, and the bullying got worse. People called me emo. Each recess, I’ll spend it alone. Whenever I sit on a table, everyone avoids me. I was sitting alone in that table, every single day. Nothing changed; I still get fizzy drinks dunked over my head. I break down and cry each time I got those things. I loved a guy named Jordan, we’ve always been a loving couple. I was always happy around him. He gave me strength and he’s the reason why I’ve held on for so long.  Until one day, I found out that he’s cheating on me with another girl. I cut, once again. Sometimes I really wish that I was dead. My grades went down, I failed a lot. I get mocked because of my grades. “Shut up worthless whore, you’re motherfucking stupid. Your dad made a biggest mistake! He should use a condom.” Yeah, Bitchney was right. Yes. I tried to be strong, I fight back. But everyone despise me. What did I do? I’m a virgin and I’m someone with no evil intentions! I hate me.

I really wish that I didn’t exist. I’m having the feeling to do that again, goodnight.

- Nadelle Jakens, 11:48PM.

I wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face and the tears on the page. I went into the bathroom. Gathering all my courage and I picked up the razor. I hate me. I pressed the razor down onto my skin, pulling it across causing blood to trickle down onto the bathtub. It hurts, but my heart hurts more. After a few more swift actions across my skin, I cleaned up. Finally being able to stop my blood from flowing, I feel disgusted after cutting. I plopped myself onto my bed and lay my face flat on the pillow, crying. Slowly, I drift into my dreamless sleep, hoping for a better tomorrow.

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My alarm clock went off, I sighed and pull myself into the bathroom. After 1 hour of preparation, I went straight to school. Ignoring the plate of breakfast left on the counter.

I held my head down, walking to the classroom. Yeah, I’m always the first to reach and the last to leave. “Oh know what! That’s amazing. She got beaten up by me yesterday! Oh my god, it felt so good!” Harry laughed along with his 4 other friends – Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn. Followed by a group of skanks consisting Bitchney, Slutina, Whorenice and Hoenisa! Amazing names they have there? I sighed, knowing that today is gonna be a long day… 3... 2… 1… “HEY LOOK AT THIS PATHETIC WHORE OVER HERE!” Hoenisa shouted with that annoying fake Barbie voice. They 8 other assholes stood at the door laughing at whatever Hoenisa is doing. Suddenly, she pulled my ponytail and slapped my face. “What the fuck?” I whimpered, holding onto my cheek. Damn it, it’s numbed. ‘Punch her fucking face Nadelle!’ My conscience screamed. I know I should, but I don’t have the guts. I hold back my tears, ignoring the pain. “Aw she cut herself! What a worthless ugly piece of shit. No wonder her parents abandoned her!” She cooed. Motherfucking shit. That’s it.

I clench my fist and throw it in her face hard. She let out a shrill scream and stumbled backwards. “My nose! It cost so much!” She cried. HAHA, oh god what do you expect from a hoe? Of course her nose is fake! Bitch please. Her friends ran towards her, calming her down. That’s when Niall stepped in, he slap me hard across my cheek, HARD, VERY HARD. It hurts so much, not my cheek, but my heart. I look at him into the eye, yes although he bullied me but I kinda fancy him. That’s something I can’t deny. “What the actual hell is happening here?” Mrs. Morgan screamed. “NADELLE JAKENS PUNCHED ME FOR NO REASONS!” Hoenisa cried. “Nadelle Mary Jakens! Come to the principal’s office with me now!” Mrs. Morgan shouted at me and stormed out of the room. I walk forward to HOEnisa and squatted down to her level. “I’m sorry” I whispered… “NOT.” I screamed at her causing her to jump. I slap her hard across her cheek, leaving the classroom as I stuck my middle finger up at them ALL. “Cunts!” I screamed at them.