Here & Now

Chapter Eleven

Friday seemed to pass me in a blur. This was made possible by me dodging as many classes as possible and avoiding all possible contact with other students. Before I knew it Saturday morning had rolled around and it was time for church.

Since Mom split from Dad she had turned to religion to ease her pain. On most occasions I was able to avoid going by faking illness or saying I had homework, but today Mom had enticed Faith and I with McDonalds for breakfast. McDonalds - one of my many weaknesses. Mom, Faith and I arrived at the Church of St Louis, Faith with her hash browns and me with my Breakfast McMuffin and large Coke. As we approached the entrance, I began to feel slightly undressed. Women were wearing elegant dresses that blew in the coastal breeze, while the men wore button up shirts with suit pants. Mom had asked me to change into something more appropriate, but I'd replied with, 'Why does it make a difference to God what I wear?'

From a young age my Dad had spoken to me about religion. He was an atheist himself, and used to say that because God doesn't exist, he won't judge you based on which book you read. I had agreed with him on this sentiment. I didn't believe in one particular religion, I figured that most religions are just different interpretations of the same general rule. Do good. Avoid bad. My Mom was originally Hindu, but after she met my Dad she stopped following the faith.

Walking into the church, its sheer size took me by surprise. I looked up to see the multitude of different colours shine through the stained glass pictures of a number of religious figures, none of which I knew. Lower down on the walls there were wood carvings that seemed to depict different moments of Jesus' life. One showed him being nailed to the cross and being carried by two scary looking dudes. The one next to it showed him resurrected, standing tall with a regal look on his face.  The carvings had so much detail and while I was not religious, I couldn't help but admire these carvings, it would have taken the craftsman hundreds of hours to complete them all.

Whenever I'd think about religion I wondered to myself if these prominent figures actually existed. Personally, I believed they did. I wondered if they had actually behaved as described in the religious texts. Like, I could totally imagine Jesus being a fan of rock music. As silly as it sounded I had actually wondered what Jesus' favourite song would have been if he was living on Earth at the moment. My choice was Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. There were way too many angelic references for it not to be his favourite.

We sat down towards the back of the church as proceedings began. The pastor moved towards the alter. His wrinkle-free skin gave him the appearance of a man in their late 30s to early 40s. He seemed to be of Asian descent, which to be honest could have made him in his 50s, though. He wore the traditional black robe with the white collar at the top and a large golden chain with a cross at the bottom, which in design looked familiar.

The Pastor begun his sermon and within a few minutes I found myself on my phone. Curiosity about something non-church related had gotten the best of me. Since my seemingly disastrous performance followed by the supportive comments I had checked the page a number of times. It was up to a bit over two thousand views, with 112 likes and only six dislikes. The comments seemed to still be in my favour with most people enjoying the performance. I still hadn't figured out who had posted the video and I wasn't sure whether I should be thanking them or trying to kill them yet. As I was strolling through the comments there was a user called 'ZaxAttack', immediately my thoughts went to Zach my old guitar teacher turned mentor/hero. Should I send this to him? If I didn't and he found out on his own, he'd be pissed, but I found myself resisting for some reason. If anyone was going to be happy or proud of me it would have been Zach... and my Dad - but that definitely wasn't happening. I copied the URL and pasted it in a new message to Zach. My thumb hovered over the send button the familiar feeling of insecurity and nervousness came over me.