ex silentio | ivan goncharov x reader

ꜱᴛᴀɢɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

Stagnation

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜꜱʜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴅᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ. ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʙᴇ ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ. ɪɴ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ? ᴀ ᴘɪʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀᴄᴄᴜᴍᴜʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴍᴜᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ꜱʜʀɪᴍᴘ, ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ. ᴀʟʟ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.

. . .

From that day onward, your life changed drastically - in the simplest terms. For real, the change could be explained in two major differences. First, simply put, being the fact that everything went upside down.

Once, you'd walk and sit around all day. Monotone and dull was the period of these senseless activities. And during the night, you would at least find some amusement in being tormented by imbued nightmares. Now, however, the daytime was spent with Ivan, your master, and some other people whose names didn't mean much to you. And the night, the period that was once reserved for battle against sleep, was now the time when you'd gladly close your eyes, rest your mind and rush your consciousness to see the next morning.

Second was the realization you were truly appreciated - even respected - by all those filthy, terrible rats. Respect of that kind might not be the type one should seek, but it made you feel better and as such, it was greatly appreciated. That happened due to a task you completed for Dostoyevsky one day, when he brought you a good amount of dark hair, and instructed you to use the ability as to boost the power of his computers. "The ability is called Futon, and we have a spare futon in case you need one to... ease yourself while using the gift," he told you on that occasion while snapping his fingers. Apparently, afterwards Dostoyevsky, with your help, was able to expand the collective areal of his technological influence. Overall, it was a huge addition to the organization and the accomplishment was cheered upon.

Ivan didn't fail to remind you of this success and its significance, naturally. He was as bright as ever - now even more proud of you. Concerning him and the relationship the two of you shared, it was going as smoothly as it could. You'd spent multiple weeks' worth of time in each other's company - be it during a cuddling session while relaxing, or in a heated discussion you had taken more initiative in as of lately. Either way, it was a bliss, something you'd never get enough of. Sometimes perhaps you'd think of the future, wondering what it has in store for you. Yet there was plenty of those small errands you'd run for your master and combined with the time spent with Ivan, you could hardly let yourself view the oncoming period with any sort of negativity or doubt. In conclusion - you felt fulfilled. And as you are now, how could you ask for more, for anything more? Did you need anything else, after all? You knew the answers, yet of course you couldn't ever be perfectly satisfied with them.

And as expected, as you dreadfully expected, all of your surging desires were directed to one and only matter - Ivan. You'd laugh at it often. How banal, how childish, when you try to rationalize things through. This situation was beyond your comprehension, as a connection with another person of this degree had never happened to you. Even your parents who you once did love, even the love you possessed in the early stages of childhood, it was negligible when compared to what you felt towards this one fine man. So you pondered lightly. Was it too much to ask for a step further? And would you even like it? Luckily you were having a good time, your friendship (if you could even call it so) was indeed wonderful. It was almost everything you'd imagine as normal for a couple, actually. So you decided on something you could bear with at the moment - not to go any further in the matters of romance. You had no experience whatsoever and you'd rather not ruin the fruitful relationship you had with him.