✔️ STARGAZER | jilix

❽ ; together forever

[ listen to the song above with headphones! it sounds like a live concert in your ears, and the song i've chosen fits the story well - it enhances the reading! ]

[ ☾ ]

FOUR YEARS AGO

[ ☾ ]

it could ruin their friendship. he could hate him forever. he could tell all of their friends and they could also hate him forever.

the risks were high.

but, god, felix didn't think he could take another day without knowing the truth.

'hey, sungie.'

'oh, hey!' jisung grinned at him with his beautiful heart smile and slung an arm over his shoulder. the brunette (to his chagrin, he wasn't allowed to dye his hair until he turned 16) gulped.

'uh, can- can we talk? it's kinda important.'

'sure! what is it?'

'i mean, in private.'

jisung's smile faltered a bit. 'yeah.' had he done something wrong? had he offended felix? had felix found out about his secret?

heading out of the busy school halls, they walked along concrete paths lined by concrete houses and concrete shops. there wasn't much greenery in the dome - the few precious plants that existed were grown and bred in greenhouses and used for their oxygen.

when the two arrived at felix's house, they dumped their school books at the door to the bedroom and climbed on top of felix's bed. sitting cross-legged, facing each other, both could tell the other was worried.

felix felt like he would die if jisung reacted badly. now, that was a tad dramatic, and he knew it, and that was why the keyword was felt. he knew he would probably move on. but the lightheaded feeling in his mind told him that a tsunami of heartbreak would come first.

'what did you want to talk about?' jisung's hand raised slightly towards his mouth, but he quickly returned it to his side. nail-biting was a habit he was only just breaking out of.

the younger boy took his friend's hands in his. 'promise you won't hate me. or laugh at me. i really don't want this to ruin our friendship.'

jisung furrowed his brows. 'i would never,' he said, wondering what the other could possibly say that could ruin their friendship. they were soulmates! double trouble! j + f!

felix took a deep breath. then he exhaled. he opened his mouth to speak, and quickly shut it. another deep breath. jisung rubbed the pad of his thumb over the back of his hand comfortingly.

'i'm kinda freaking out,' felix said, laughing a bit in an attempt to lighten the mood.

his best friend gave him a grim smile. 'i can tell.'

'okay, i'm just gonna- just gonna say it.'

'mhm.'

'i'm gay.'

jisung's eyes widened slightly.

'and i like you.'

the other's blank face was quickly replaced by a grin. he pulled felix, bewildered, into a somewhat awkward hug.

'you- what- i, uh-'

'i think i like you too, stupid!' jisung said excitedly.

'oh my god. really?'

'would i lie?'

the two pulled back from the hug, jisung with a heart-shaped grin on his face and felix with a shyer one on his. the latter stuttered, 'so, do you, um, want to be my, uh, boy- boyfriend?'

felix had never seen jisung smile so widely. it looked like it took up all of his face, with his eyes squished into little crescents. he decided he wouldn't mind seeing that smile more often. 'of course!'

this time, their hug wasn't the least bit awkward - both boys were grinning like idiots, and laughing like ones too.

something about this felt good, natural.

and felix knew they'd be together forever.