"You look beautiful," Luke tells me while we sit at the table filled with bridesmaids and groomsmen. Mia is somewhere talking to whoever. The ceremony went fine, I tripped a couple times which made Luke laugh really loud which made Mia get mad. I still haven't talked to Luke, and I mean really talked, about what he thinks I am to him. I need to know if he thinks we have a future together. I know he's upset that Ashton and his family were invited too but the invitations went out a long time ago and Mia made the exception to add his family.
"Hey," Ashton says when he comes over to our table. He sits down on the other side of me and Luke noticeably straightens up and puts his hand on mine on top of the table. I slip my hand from under his and quickly take a sip from the champagne placed at my seat.
"You look nice," I say and Luke coughs loudly over the music. I roll my eyes and turn my back to him so I'm completely facing Ashton.
"You look nice, too," he says and a cute giggle escapes his lips. When I lift the end of my dress onto my knees we all realize I have many bruises in the general knee area. Ashton offers to get ice and Luke glares at me while he walks away.
"What?" I scowl at him and cross my arms. He sighs and his shoulders droop.
"You're literally flirting with him right in front of me," he huffs. Is he actually serious?
"Shut up, Luke," I snap at him and he's taken aback by my sudden annoyance. I keep my eyes on my grandparents who are dancing on the floor sectioned in front of the DJ. He puts his hand on my shoulder and I pull him closer to me by grabbing his wrist and pulling it further until he's hugging me from behind. I lay my the back of my head on his chest and he kisses my cheek sweetly. "You're so annoying."
"I'm sorry," he says slowly. The only thing I want to do more than rip this dress off and pull on sweatpants is go home and curl up in bed with Luke. California isn't cold like New York is during fall and that really sucks. I miss the leaves changing colours and the cold breeze, and hot showers, and being able to drink hot chocolate without sweating.
About a week or two ago I realised Luke and I haven't said 'I love you' in a long time. I know it's stupid but whenever I try to say it something washes over me and I become convinced to wait until he says it first. I know I was the first person to say I love you in our relationship and I wasn't even aware of it until Luke told me about it hours after he had had the time to think about what I said.
I thank Ashton when he brings me the napkins filled with ice and place them on my knees. I'm glad Luke doesn't move away from me because I've grown comfortable with this hug. His chin is now resting on my shoulder and he randomly places kisses just below my ear which makes me giggle like a 12 year old.
"So where's your girlfriend?" Luke bursts out. I squeeze his forearm that's wrapped around my neck and he chuckles and says," what?" I think he means Harvey.
"She couldn't be here tonight," he says. "She has a thing."
"A cheer tournament," I correct him and he nods. Are they really dating? Whatever, I set them up.
"Is that Danny?" Ashton says and I tense up. Ashton's looking directly behind me and to my left towards the dance floor area. I'm scared to turn around to check because if he really is there he might try to talk to me and I'm not ready for that.
"Danny? Like New York Danny?" Luke says and turns around. I snap my head back to see him already watching us. I pull my dress back down so its touching the floor and I pry Luke's arms off of me. I try my best to keep my eyes off of him but I always end up making eye contact with him. When I look back up at him he's walking over to us. I forgot Danny and his family were invited to the wedding.
"Hi," he says slowly when he gets to our table. Luke curses under his breath but Danny doesn't hear it. I excuse myself very quickly saying I need to use the restroom and I slip into the ladies room. No one's in the ladies room right now so I decide to sit on the counter with the sinks. There's a gold cart of chocolate cake and cake pops piled on top. I pull the golden cart closer to the sinks and take the pink cake pop that has a small flower on the top made out of icing.
After eating at least four cake pops and getting to 4,000,000 on temple run someone knocks on the door loudly.
Before I have time to see who it is the door swing open and Luke walks in slowly. He pulls me down off of the counter and wraps his arms around my shoulders. I wasn't expecting him to hug me.
"You've been distant to me and I want to know why," he sighs and rests his chin on top of my head. I take this opportunity to nuzzle my head into the crook of his warm neck. The black tiled floor is cold under my barefoot feet. I left my heels on the floor next to the golden cart of sweets.
"Why'd you leave when my doctor asked me if we were going to have kids?" I say, trying to find my voice but ending up coming out as more of a squeak. I clear my throat and pull my head from under his chin so I can look at him. He looks at me with a puzzled look and I can feel the shock and betrayal start to build up. I know I don't really have a reason to feel 'betrayed' but I thought that saying we love each other signified that we would be looking at a future together. It might be a short future or a long future but it's still a future and it's hurts to think that Luke doesn't think that way. "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
"Why?" He asks, ignoring my first question. I pull out of his hug and immediately regret it because of the lack of body heat. I can't read his expressions but I think he's still confused. I don't understand why he's so confused, do you think we have a future or not. It's not that hard to understand. "What does this have to do with us? I thought you said you don't like children."
"I never said I don't like children," I mutter and he scoffs under his breath. I take a deep breath and try to think back to the day I told him about what I wanted with my future.
