When the final bell of the day rang and the maths lesson was over, I couldn’t wait to get home and comfort eat with the help of my two buddies, Ben & Jerry. I raced out of the classroom and headed straight towards my locker to collect my things. As I was rummaging in my locker I heard someone fake cough behind me. I swivelled around to see Ryan stood there smiling at me. He moved and leaned against the neighbouring locker staring me up and down.
“Hey Ryan, miss me already?” I said winking at him. He chuckled as I shut my locker door and started walking. He walked alongside me and remained quiet for a minute or two, only licking his lips and staring at the floor.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Ryan asked me quietly, he was almost whispering.
“Nah, not really. I was just planning on eating and watching some TV. Why?”
“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over to mine.”
“Oh erm-”
“You know, seen as it’s been so long and all. I missed your company…” He interrupted.
“I think Ben & Jerry would miss me too much.” We both giggled and stopped at the water fountain near the exit. Ryan bent over and took a drink, then stood up, wiped his mouth and asked me again if I would go.
“I can’t say no to that face now can I?” I laughed as we began walking to his house, which is also not far from mine. The walk was nothing special, usual friendly teasing and jokes. It was a bit awkward when we passed Justin walking home but I just ignored him and he carried on walking. When we arrived at his house, I was greeted by his little brother who was already home and playing on his skateboard.
“Hey Mitchell, how’s it going?” I said, giving him a high-5.
“Hi Sophia! Long time no see! I thought you guys fell out or something!” He chuckled whilst pulling me in for a brotherly-sisterly hug.
“Why’d you think that you cheeky monkey?”
“Just because” Mitchell said before riding off down the street to meet his friends. Ryan walked inside and I followed closely behind. His Mum greeted us in the kitchen.
“Sophia! Hunny, how are you?” She was always so welcoming.
“I’m fine thankyou, and you?” I responded.
“I’m great hun! Are you staying for tea?” I shrugged my shoulders and politely made small talk before escaping upstairs to Ryan’s bedroom. Ryan threw his school bag on the floor and took mine, resting it on his dresser carefully. He then jumped onto his bed and sat leaning against the headboard. Following him, I sat down next to him and took a look around.
“Your room is different.”
“Is it?” Ryan looked confused.
“Yeah but not in a re-decorating kind of way. It’s just different.”
“Explain?” He laughed.
“It’s more mature I guess. Instead of having cuddly toys and action men, there’s a TV, Xbox and skateboards. And it smells different. It smells of aftershave and deodorant instead of play dough and cookies. I like it.” Ryan laughed and gave me another big hug.
“Has it really been that long since you have been in my room!?” I nodded and we sat in silence for another minute. Because of the hug, we were now sat practically in each others laps. I didn’t mind. I could feel his chest sinking and rising as he took breaths. Every time he breathed out, I got a draft of his minty breath mixed with his expensive cologne, nom!
“You broke my heart.” Ryan said out of the blue.
“What?”
“My answer to your earlier question is you broke my heart.” He looked me in the eyes and it looked like he was tearing up. “I never moved on when you broke up with me. I honestly thought my world was going to end. You were my world. I couldn’t understand why you did it, why did you?”
“Oh Ryan, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you felt that way about it.” I can’t believe I didn’t know this before now. “I guess I broke up with you because….because I was too young for a relationship. It felt like we were moving to fast too young. I just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment.” I lied, I broke up with him because I came to realise at one point in our relationship I preferred being friends. I just didn’t see him as boyfriend material.
“Okay. I guess I understand.” He seemed to cheer up a little bit.
“Can we move on to something a bit more cheerful?” I pleaded and so we moved on to making jokes and having fun. I really did miss his company.
*
A few hours passed and things were going great; Ryan sure knew how to cheer me up after a bad day. We talked about everything and we soon moved on to talking about relationships and things like that in general. It wasn’t a bad conversation until he said “So now that we are older, would you consider dating me again?” He took me by surprise and I didn’t know what to say. All I managed to mumble was;
“What do you mean?”I’m such a fucking genius!
“You said earlier you broke up with me because we were too young. Well now that we’re years older and have had some more experience, would you be my girlfriend again?” He replied. I wasn’t sure if this was a general question or a direct question.
“Yeah” I said before my brain could register what my mouth just spoke. Truth is, I thought if I can’t have Justin, I can have Ryan; show him what he’s missing. Its wrong I know but I’m lonely, Ryan’s lonely and why can’t we have a bit of fun along the way? I guess I said yes out of pity.
“So you’re my girlfriend now?” Ryan asked and I nodded. He seemed so happy, bless.
Leaning in, he ran his hand through my hair and softly kissed me for a few seconds. Like it was his way of saying thankyou for me saying yes. Then he pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. A smile crept on his lips like he was thinking finally, I have her back. He leaned in again and kissed me, this time with more passion and force. I grabbed his face as he moved his hands down to my waist to lift me onto him. We had kissed before, but not like this. (We were like 12!) He seemed so experienced; Ryan was definitely a good kisser. He knew exactly where to place his hands at the right moment, when to breathe, when to kiss. What type of kiss to do at what moment and most importantly, he knew the boundaries. I spent the rest of the night in his arms, where it felt safe and secure. His arms were like the protection and his lips were like the comfort. He is a great cuddler too. Before I knew it, it was time to go home which meant a goodnight kiss outside my house. A perfect end to a crap day
