In Between

Chapter Three

Right after camp, I made a vow to start over. Not long after that my Father sent for us to come stay with him in Belize.

Now before that happened, he had been convincing my mother to come to Belize, but that turned out to be bad, because she blatantly told him no.

She wanted to come by herself to experience the feel of the country first before she brought her beloved children to a foreign place. He wasn't a happy camper about that, and told her that if she came the same day she arrived he would leave Belize. So my mother took it upon herself along with her bestfriend Izzy to Google Belize.

Mind you what they found on the internet wasn't pretty. They saw houses built from wood or what they call board house and other stuff I really can't recall. That image automatically changed her mind, because she was on the verge of moving. She later became convinced when her friend told her that she had already established her entire life here. She had her own boutique, was living a comfortable life, and didn't need to go somewhere to start from the ground up, to which I do agree.

But hey, we all do stupid things for love.

Surely my father was able to convince her to come to Belize. Mom sold her car, rented out the boutique, and got the entire family, which consisted of her my brother and myself for the move.

This was the first time I had taken a plane, and it was awesome for seven year old Blessing. During this time a lot happened. Because I grew up in a sheltered home, I wasn't exposed to many things, so now that we were moving countries, there were certain things I noticed that I never saw growing up.

I got a chance to hear a wider range of music, and that's we here I fell in love with Kidz Bop (when they were somewhat big and had the original memebers) see different people from different backgrounds and experience a lot of rasicim.

It was one heck of a ride with many transits and stops, but we eventually made it to Belize. My mother's reaction to seeing it physically in person was priceless, especially when we went to visit one of my father's friends before we went to his house.

He finally took us to where we were staying and to say we weren't at all shocked would be a big lie. Maybe the reason why I didn't like it was because what I was used to back home was much different than what he had.

We had a decent size house, stable income and living a nice comfortable life, while all he had was a two bedroom, one bath house, some furniture a woman from the church he started loan him and a bunch of other things.

My mom was not too pleased because She never really wanted to come. She was coaxed into coming.

And that's the where majority of the problems in my family came from. But that for another chapter.

Anyway, school had already started, and since it was Christmas break, we had to wait until the holiday was over before we could begin the new term. I wasn't to happy about that idea, because I was pretty content where I was and besides my entire family was back home along with all my friends and everything I'd ever known growing up. If anyone would have asked me back then if I wanted to move six thousands miles away, I would have answered no. Why? You may ask. Well for starters I was never prepared for the hardships that I would experience when I got here and secondly, I never wanted to see my father.

That might seem complicated as to why I wanted nothing to do with him, but it is fairly simple. Growing up, although my mother concealed as much as she wanted from us to see, there were certain things she couldn't hide. One of them being how I grew up without him there fully and him Being emotionally detached from us when ever he was around. As young as a child may be, they easily pick up on these things. And trust me I know because I've been there several times. A child knows and feels it when their parent rejects them emotionally.

But sometimes I just can't help but wonder what if? And that is something we as humans do a lot of. What if I did this? What if I said that? What if didn't make this decision? And adjust the what if questions which I think are okay to ask, because sometimes we can't help but wonder, I suggest that as humans especially Christians, we should dwell on those things.

Why? Because it doesn't make sense to live in the past. Why live in the past when you can live in the present. Savor the moment that you are in because today will never come again, and tomorrow will be different than today. And that's if we live to see the future.

As Christians we get so caught up in our glory days that we forget to make today a glorious day. Remembering the past and living in it are two different things. You might say, "But I don't live in my past. I only go back to revisit most of the time." News flash stop revisiting! Because one day you'll begin to live in it instead of focusing on the future and the present.

I used to do the same. I would sit and wonder what my life would 've been like if I hadn't come to Belize. There are times when I would question God on wether or not he made a mistake because I was experiencing things I know for a fact, or thought I knew I wouldn't experience back home. But through all that I discovered that God works in mysterious ways. He does things that we as humans will and may not understand all the time. But as long as we have faith and believe that he'll see us through, we can and should hold on to him and his word.

God even said so in his word. Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed . So if he is says this then why does he let us go through tough times and we feel as if he isn't there. Well the answer is simple. He is always there. And the reason we go through trouble is because our faith needs to get tested. In the midst of trouble how do we react to God and his word. You see if we only experienced good days, then our love for God would be as fake as those lashes girls wear. Because we really and truly won't have faith. Tough times are meant to see how strong and deep rooted we are in God's word. And if trials arises and were quick to fall, then consider your faith weak. Weaker than a tree branch.

Faith without substance is nothing. One thing that amazes me is that the enemy can't touch us without the permission of our Heavenly father. In Job 1:6-12, it talks about how Satan went to God granting permission to touch Job to prove that if He indeed lost everything he worked hard for, although he called himself a Christian, he would curse God. He was granted the permission and when that happened, what did Job do? He rather blessed God and cried out into him. Even when his own wife told him to curse God and die, he did not. As sons and daughters of the most high, that is how we should behave. Even when it seems all hope is lost, we must still hang on to God.

There's this song that is called One Set of Footprints in the Sand. In it, the songwriter describes that at first she two set of Footprints in the Sand, which represented their walk with Jesus. But as they continued to go down the beach she began noticing one set of Footprints in the Sand. When she asked God why this was so, thinking He abandoned her to walk alone due g that time, God said when he realized what she was going through and how she couldn't take it anymore, He began to carry her. And this is what God does for us. He k ow what we can handle, and he doesn't give us more than we can bear. Although he walks beside us through thick or thin, in good times and bad, when he sees how much we struggle to cope with whatever we're going through, he carries us through it. He holds us upright and makes sure that we are able to fight till the end.

HEY GUYS. I'M REALLY EXTREMELY SORRY FOR NOT PUTTING UP THE CHAPTERS IN SUNDAY AND SATURDAY AS I PROMISED. SCHOOL JUST OPENED AND I'M TRYING TO GET ADJUSTED TO MY SCHEDULE. WHEN I'VE FOUND A PERFECT TIME, I'LL CHANGE THE UPDATE SCHEDULE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT ALSO.

Love.
Susuana❤