Needless to say, things were a little awkward between Jessie and me after that. I didn’t want it to be but I was so concerned about Jessie at the moment I couldn’t help but be serious about this. I’m not an idiot. I know the typical excuses that are supposed to explain a random bruise or anything like that. When I saw that bruise on Jessie’s back the pieces just started to come together. Up until now, I had no idea why Jessie seemed so terrified about being late getting home, or staying on the phone with me too late. The way she avoided talking about anything that had to do with her home life. It all made sense. The worst part was though, I couldn’t say anything like that to her without her willingly wanting to talk about it. You can’t just make someone talk about something they don’t want to and I especially did not want to hurt Jessie any more than she was already being hurt. God, but it pissed me off so much. Jessie was such an amazing person and yet…
“Julie, we’re here,” Jessie’s voice broke me out of my angry thoughts. I’d noticed my hand was gripping the car’s door handle so hard it felt like my hand was going to break. I looked up to see no sign of anyone home in my apartment so obviously Lydia was still at work.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked, cautiously. I was hoping she would so I could at least save this evening. I didn’t want things left tense between us.
“I don’t know if I should,” she said hesitantly, her eyes darting back and forth between me and the clock on her car radio.
“You don’t have to stay for long, Jess. I would just rather not sit in my apartment by myself,” I smiled in an attempt to relax her and myself.
“Okay. I can for a little while,” she said, smiling softly in response. I could see the fear behind her expression though. Fear of what I’m not sure. It could have been the fear of me asking questions or the fear of what’s waiting for her at home. I had no idea.
We walked up to my apartment in silence, just like our entire trip back from the store and let me tell you, it was fucking deafening. As soon as we got in, I sat down on the couch, expecting Jessie to follow suit. Instead she stood in the middle of the room, her arms crossed and her gaze locked on something apparently interesting on the floor.
“Jessie, you can come sit down you know,” I said quietly before I clicked the TV back on. She sat down about a foot away from me without a word and I sighed deeply. I knew if I didn’t say something this would go nowhere. “I’m not going to question you or anything. You can pretend nothing happened if you want to. I just needed you to know that I do care about you and if you ever need to talk about things I’ll listen,” I told her, glancing over at her in an attempt to gauge how she was feeling.
“Okay,” she whispered after a few moments of silence. It was so quiet I could barely hear her voice but I understood anyway. That wasn’t good enough though. I couldn’t deal with this quiet, withdrawn Jessie anymore. I scooted myself over and carefully draped my arm over her shoulders before pulling her into me for a hug. I didn’t expect her rigid state to change to be honest but as soon as my arm was around her I felt her relax and before I knew it she was hugging me back. Both her arms slipped around my waist as she rested her head on my chest. She was still quiet but I didn’t feel that things were nearly as tense now and I was satisfied with that for the time being.
I assumed Jessie was just watching TV mindlessly much like I was but I suddenly realized that the entire front of my shirt was soaked. She was crying silently and I honestly didn’t know what to do at this point. I know that sometimes we get to a point where we just need to cry for a while but that didn’t mean my heart didn’t break for Jessie right then.
“You know, you’re too beautiful to cry,” I said quietly whilst running my fingers through her hair in an attempt to comfort her.
“Why do you say things like that?” she asked through her broken voice.
“I don’t lie, Jessie. Not about important things anyway. I don’t like to see you cry but I know sometimes that’s all a person needs,” I mumbled. “And you know I would never force you to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about. You do whatever you feel like you need to.”
Jessie didn’t speak again after that. She turned slightly so that her face was completely buried into my chest and all I heard was her crying. Her shoulders shook with sobs as I held onto her tight, ever mindful of the bruise that I was now so aware of. How many more was she hiding? It all worried me to no end.
Lydia walked in a while later. When she saw Jessie still curled up into me and still crying she flashed me a worried look and silently mouthed the words, ‘Is she okay?’ I simply shrugged one shoulder. I wasn’t sure myself but I was just going to let Jessie cry this one out. From the sounds of it, she’s had this building up inside of her for a long time. A very long time.
Lyd signaled to me that she would be in her room and so Jess and I were once again left alone. Although, a few minutes later, her cries started to quiet down to the point where the only sounds coming from her were the occasional sniffle. I didn’t dare to move or speak. At this moment, all I wanted to be was Jessie’s safe haven for the time being. She wasn’t mine but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let that stop me.
I sat there for ages with her. My hand was slightly under her shirt so that I could gently rub circles on the soft skin of her lower back. Take away the awful circumstances and this would have been perfect.
I guess at some point while I was holding Jessie I had fallen asleep because I was suddenly awakened to find a pitch black living room. I was still sitting upright on the couch, my neck immediately protesting from the obvious kink. Jessie was no longer in my arms but instead I saw her silhouette near the door, attempting to slip her shoes on.
“What are you doing?” I said suddenly, causing her to jump.
“I have to go home,” she said quietly. Sorry, what?
“Wait,” I said urgently, jumping up from the couch and turning one of the lamps on so that the room was dimly lit. I noticed the clock read two in the morning. Damn it was late. “Please, don’t go back there, Jess,” I pleaded.
“Julie, I have to,” she said weakly. Everything about her body language and tone of voice told me that she was scared. She didn’t want to go and I didn’t want her to. Her bloodshot eyes and pale complexion only made me want to tuck her into my bed and keep her there until I could make everything better.
“No, you don’t have to go back there. You can stay here, just for the night. Please, Jess. Please stay,” I begged her. I was honestly so torn up at the idea of Jessie going back there. I just wanted to cry to be honest.
“I can’t,” Jessie said, shaking her head. Her voice was breaking at nearly every syllable. Just like my heart was. “I promise it’ll be fine. I’ll call you first thing tomorrow,” she whispered as she pulled me into a tight hug. There was no arguing with Jessie. I knew that. So I did the only thing I could do. I hugged her tight, wishing that I could just keep her here. This wasn’t about my little ‘crush’ anymore. This was about that fact that Jessie is so incredibly important to me that I knew I’d do anything to keep her safe. It killed me inside that I couldn’t do enough.
“Call me if you need anything. I mean it, Jessie,” I said seriously. Jessie stared back at me with tired eyes before nodding slowly. Despite my desire to just grab her and keep her here, I let her leave.
Jessie never spoke about what was going on. She knew that I could pretty well guess, of course but there was no telling how bad things actually were. It scared me. Watching that amazing woman walk out my front door was the hardest thing I felt like I ever had to do.
By standing there and doing nothing, I felt like the one abusing her rather than that man.
A/N Thoughts? What's your all's take on the events thus far?
