I really, really wish I could say things between Jessie and I were perfect after that night. I wish I could say she ended things with Brad soon after and we were now a happy couple. None of these things were true though. Not even close. I mean, yes, things were good between me and Jessie romance wise. She came over any chance she got, which was almost every day, by telling Brad that she was working a lot.
Here’s the thing though. I will admit, Jessie and I had sex a lot. I mean a lot. But it never fails that every single time she leaves in the middle of the night to go home. She even did it on that first night she came to my apartment after our vacation and that fucking hurt. It hurts to go to bed with someone and then wake up to an empty space next to you. Especially knowing that they’ve left to go back to their boyfriend.
It’s been six weeks since we’ve come back from our vacation in Greece. Six fucking weeks of Jessie promising me she’d end things with him and six weeks of me being ‘the other woman’ and that made me feel like shit. Every day that she continued her relationship with him my heart broke a little more. I felt like I wasn’t important enough for her to take a risk for. It also hurt to see what was being done to her behind closed doors. Yes, the abuse was getting worse. Jessie never came to me without bruises. Ever. She was never dishonest with me about what happened but that didn’t make things any better. Any time I tried to really push her to leave him she’d start to get defensive and that drove me up the wall. I understood that this was hard for her but honestly, I wanted her to consider my feelings too. Did that make me selfish? I don’t know.
So today I had to make a really hard decision. I’d been mulling it over in my head for a couple weeks now and I knew I needed to give Jessie an ultimatum. Everything has just gone too far with us and I felt like I was going to end up hurt if I wasn’t careful. Hell, I was already hurt. It was just so hard to voice my frustrations straight to her because as soon as I see her I forget about all of that. It’s all replaced by that happy, bubbly feeling I get when I’m with her and it was making my life hard.
“Okay, Juliana that’s enough. We’re done for the day,” I heard my manager call out. That’s another thing. Ever since Jessie’s video was released I’ve been getting jobs like crazy which is amazing. I was working a little more but the money has been fantastic and I was pretty optimistic that I’d have enough to visit my parents in a few months. I was missing them like crazy.
I hurried to my dressing room to change back into my regular clothes so that I could get home. I wanted to see Jessie as soon as possible so that I wouldn’t chicken out like I do every time I want to bring this up. I started typing out my text to her before I even started my car.
‘Can you come over as soon as you can? We need to talk.’
I sent the text, hoping that she wasn’t at work or anything. I needed to speak to her now. I threw my phone into the passenger seat and drove home, not bothering to check my phone again until I was back up in my apartment. Thankfully, Lydia wasn’t home so we would hopefully be alone. She just sent a generic reply letting me know she’d be right over, so of course I started my nervous pacing around the room. I could feel my resolve crumbling but I knew I couldn’t back out now. I’d already sent her a serious text telling her we needed to talk. If I brushed it off now she’d know there was something up.
I jumped when I heard my front door opening and turned to see Jessie walking in cautiously, a concerned look on her face. But god, was she beautiful today. She had been doing this new thing with hair extensions and I was absolutely loving the long hair on her. She looked like she’d just come from work considering her make-up was done flawlessly and her outfit had obviously been carefully chosen.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked, obviously referring to my vague text. Don’t back out, Julie. Don’t back out.
“Come sit with me,” I said, clearing my throat. She followed me to the couch, that worried look never leaving her face. I wanted to make that look disappear. I want to tell her everything was fine so that she could smile again. I couldn’t do that though. There were things that needed to be said. “Jessie, you know I care about you right?”
