The Sweetest Pain

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter 34

I WOKE up early, too early that it's still dark outside. I didn't slept well last night. Hindi ako makatulog sa kakaisip nang binitiwang salita ni Reya kagabi. She was damn right. I decided to get off the bed and make myself a cup of coffee downstairs.

Napadaan ako sa katabing kwarto na inuukupa ng mag-ina ko  Sisilipin ko sana sila sa kwarto na kwarto ni Reya dati. Kakatok na sana ako para anyayahan silang magkape pero masyado pang maaga baka tulog pa sila. It's like five forty-nine in the morning. Bumaba na lang ako para makapagtimpla na ng kape ko.

Gusto ko lang naman makasama ang anak ko sana. I'm the father, dugo't laman ko pero hindi ko man lang nasubaybayan kung paano siya lumaki. I didn't get the chance to witness her first crawl, her first walk, her first word, all of her first I did not got to see and feel. This is not what I've imagined for my first born, I am dreaming to held her first as she come out in this world, experience the daddy duties attending to her baby. Picking between pink or lavender onesie.

However knowing the old me. Alam kong ipagtutulakan ko ang batang nasa sinapupunan ni Reya. I would never ever want to have a child with her. I despise her. I want my kid to see how much I love her mom. I want my child to see that we have a perfect family that she can brag to her friends.

The first time I saw my daughter in person, I already felt the leap on my heart, thumping fast, and how mesmerized I am when I finally saw Lia in flesh, breathing, I almost couldn't believe it.

It looks so impossible to be able to make a child like that. I wonder what it felt when Lia is still on Reya's womb. Holding her tummy and feel Lia's movement kicking and moving.

I love Lia the moment I saw her picture. She's my blood and flesh. And I thank her mother for her name.

Amillia is the name of my grandmother. And I know for sure that Reya knows how much I love my grandmother.

"Hoy! Pangit hintayin po ako!" Agad na kumabog ang puso ko sa gulat.

Napangiti na lang ako ng tumakbo ito. Aaminin kong bastos para sa ibang tao na makakarinig, but I don't to mind it to be honest. It just made me smile more, she still knows how to say po at opo and that's what matters the most. She's still polite. No doubt I love her because she's mine. My daughter. And of course my angel.

"Why are you awake at this early kiddo?" ginulo ko ang buhok niya ng makalapit ito sa akin.

Napanguso naman ito dahil nagugulo ko ang buhok niya. She's so little, kailangan ko pa sigurong lumuhod at yumuko para mapantayan ko lang mukha niya.

"Stap messing my hair! Eh ikaw rin po eh! Early ka din. Kaya kong ayaw niyo pong mabadstip ako wag niyong guluhin ang buhok ko po." Natawa na naman ako. I pinch her natural pinkish cheeks. She's so loud and nosy. I wonder if where did she got this attitude? Definitely not me. Si Reya? Parang hindi naman.

Lia raised her little hands. Nagpapakarga. Without any second thoughts I lifted her. She's very light co'z she's so tiny. Hindi naman malnourished. I can see baby fats and she looks healthy.

"It's mabadtrip not mabadstip little girl." pagtatama ko sa kanya umingos naman ito. Looks like she hates being corrected. She kicks her tiny feet in  annoyance.

"Ganun na rin po iyon pangit." umirap pa ito. Muli akong napangiti. I kissed her cheeks. I'd got an 'ew' in return, I let out a chuckle.

She's is so adorable.