The Sweetest Pain

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter 36

ISANG buwan na ang lumipas simula nang namatay si Daddy. Araw-araw akong nagluluksa sa pagkamatay niya. Halos wala akong ganang kumain. Gusto kong magkulong na lamang sa kwarto.

Nanghihinayang ako sa mga pagkakataon na sana ay nagkaayos kami kaagad, kung kailan okey na ang lahat saka pa kinuha ng Panginoon ang tatay ko. Gusto kong limutin na ang lahat ng sakit at poot na naipon ko sa mahabang panahon, kung sana lang ay mas hinabaan pa sana ang buhay niya.

Lia was so worried I saw fear in her eyes when she saw her grandfather laying down on the hospital bed with a white cloth covering his whole body not a single sign of life.

Kakikilala niya pa lamang sa Lolo niya. And then all of a sudden, his Lolo Rael died. Their first and last meeting.

I thanked Kiel, dahil tinototoo niya ang sinabi niya. True to his words hindi niya ako iniwan ng mga pagkakataong iyon. He was there to always accompany me, he was so attentive to our daughter's wants and needs, he also endured Lia's tantrums. He took care of us. And I should gave him credit for that.

It was six-thirty in the morning but I'm still in bed with Lia. Lia is still sleeping beside me. Snoring gently. Habang tumatagal nakikita ko na masaya siya dito. She liked her new environment. She likes to be around with her father often. Sinusundan niya ito around the house when he's at home after a long tiring and stressful day at work. She would ask if where he would go and what he's doing for the day. Minsan ay dinadala niya pa si Lia sa opisana kasi gustong sumama at ayaw na makasama ako.

Mas madalas nang kasama ni Kiel ang anak namin. And he's also super fond of Lia. They love each other's company. Hindi na maipaghiwalay ang dalawa. Pareho nilang hinahanap ang presensya ng bawat isa.

Maybe my daughter really yearned for a father figure. Kaya ng makilala ang ama ay ayaw na halos humiwalay.

Attach na attach na si Lia kay Kiel. Which I was against it. Masaya naman ako na malapit sila pero natatakot ako na baka mas piliin ni Lia si Kiel someday. Hindi naman sa nagseselos ako. Ayoko lang umasa ang bata na may pagkakataon pang maayos ang samahan namin ng ama niya. Ever since then I came back here. Isa lang ang plano ko, babalik pa rin ako sa isla, no matter what happens.

I came back in my reverie when I felt Lia playing with my hair. Gising na pala siya. Tumagilid ako para makaharap ko siya. She was pouting her lips staring at me.

"Morning be." I kissed her cheeks and hug her so tight. My baby is growing so fast already. Before I was so scared to embrace her tightly cause she was my little bean. She was so fragile back then. Until now naman the only difference now is she got big and aged a bit.

"Mama? Babalik ba tayo Isla?" she asked and I simply nodded at her.

Nakita kong nangingilid ang mga luha sa mga mata niya. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi ko mas nagugustuhan niya ng tumira dito.

"Lia... tell mama what's wrong anak." alam ko namang hihilingin niyang manatili kami rito. She didn't answered and went on crying. Hindi siya nagdadabog pag hindi niya nakukuha ang gusto niya. She'll just cry and that alone made me more guilty for I cannot explain to her this situation that she could simply understand by her young mind. Hindi na lamang ako umimik at hinayaan na muna siya.

Bumaba ako ng kama. Pupunta na sana ako sa C.R ng may kumatok sa pintuan. I was about to open it nang maunahan ako ni Lia sa pagbukas nito.

"Papa!" she screamed delightly. Agad na nagpakarga si Liyang sa Papa niya.

May pagkakataon pa nga na napapansin ko na panay niyang gustong makasama si Kiel. Syempre, lahat ng gusto ni Lia binibigay nito. Pag pinagbabawalan ko siya sa mga bagay na hindi pwede ay pupunta siya kay Kiel at doon magmamaktol.