Shadow Effect

You Can't "Google" Your Memories

I can tell you that I've been on many airplanes in my life, and I'd never heard anything like that. It sounded like some giant bear or other creature was clawing the ceiling of the lower deck, our floor. I imagined it had thick, long, bloody claws... and I stopped myself. Didn't really want to be thinking about that kind of shit before a lonely, dark flight. I considered myself a strong person, someone who wasn't afraid of life anymore, but creepy stuff is creepy.

Spooky things did get a rise out of me, admittedly.. ghosts, the scary music, dark rooms, blood. As I've mentioned with my overactive imagination, I liked to think about it and scare myself. This might have had to do with the nightmares I'd been having. Some people are afraid of life events, like losing a loved one or loss of money. I'd watched everyone I loved die by the time I was 19 (except the husband, obviously). Death is inevitable, natural, beautiful, the last part of life. Financial issues didn't faze me because I could control that. I could always find some way to make more.

But, an eight-foot tall shadow being, something that doesn't exist in nature, or shouldn't, at least, what can I do about that? Especially when he is just standing there while I got my limbs twisted. Asshole.

The thought made me giggle aloud and my seat neighbor heard as he was sitting down. He saw something must be funny and smiled, too. He said "Did I miss somethin' good?" I said "Oh! No, sorry. Just had a stupid thought. Hey- do you hear that?" I was talking about the scratching. It was much quieter now, I realized. My seat buddy, Vernon Gessa, did not hear it at all. We chatted until a little bit after take-off. He was easy to talk to. I felt like I knew him already. He even resembled a friend I once had. Vernon was well-mannered and knew when a conversation was over. Once we began to run out of replies, he put in some headphones and started reading his "High Times" magazine. Neat. I enjoyed talking with him but was also relieved that we could now relax in silence next to each other. Going without sleep made it really difficult for me to carry on intelligent conversation. I kind of wanted to just daydream for a bit.

The first hour of the flight went by smoothly. No one had even gotten up for anything. It was quiet, peaceful. I actually had not seen any flight attendants since we took off; I figured that they would be out soon. Or not. This was my first night-time flight, if I haven't mentioned so already. Maybe staff slept somewhere too? I didn't know if things were different on a red-eye. Oh well. I had my music if I got tired of the silence, plus they had movies playing on those little screens. Had to use headphones for the sound because some folks could sleep on a plane. Most of us were still up at 1am.

Vernon had noticed me staring at his magazine. I longed for it since I'd finished the book I brought with already. We also know I am an advocate of cannabis. He passed it to me as he got out of the seat and headed to the restroom. While he was gone, I was trying to think of who he looked like. I was experiencing the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. The picture and name were almost there in my mind, but it would always go away or crate the face of somebody else. It bugged me. Any time that I'd be watching a movie with Jer and see someone that we knew from.. somewhere, I had to Google it. There wouldn't be satisfaction until I knew. Well, you can't do that with your memories.

I enjoyed the piece of reading material in front of me for a while, and Vernon didn't come back. I didn't know then that it'd be the last time I would see him. Who knows what people could be doing in the ole washroom. Maybe he had a bad taco last night, or the magazine inspired him to try his luck in the mile-high club. Or worse. By a quarter- to -one he still wasn't back. He could've been passed out in there or something. Besides, the caffeine had gotten to me and I had to go now.

I reached the door and knocked a few times. The door lock was set to green, signifying "unoccupied". Really, V? Such bravery. No answer. I tried to see if a staff member was around, maybe they'd seen him. But the pit was empty.

I returned to the bathroom door and opened it, no sign of Vernon inside. It seemed really weird, but I figured he must have snuck past me when I wasn't looking. And sat somewhere else.(?)
I did my business and when I opened the door, things were different.

The carpeting, which was navy blue in color, as were window blinds and upholstery, were now a charcoal gray. And it looked like those who were seated on the right side of the center aisle were now on the left and vice versa. I just stopped because it startled me. I mean, what the fuck, right? I stared at the other passengers but nobody showed signs of distress.
Besides that, I still could not find Vernon among the faces. I felt sick to my stomach. I swiftly walked back to my seat, on the correct side.

I unlocked my phone to check the time, which was roughly 2:00. No service. All I could see out the window was blackness. I thought that, being above the clouds, we would be basked in moonlight. There was no light whatsoever, no stars, no plane lights even. It was as if the outside glass had been painted black.

The sight of the cabin upon my emergence from the bathroom ate at me. The carpet was still gray, navy blue previously, and I had no explanation for it.
I felt a deep sense of fear. Maybe more like, a sense of impending doom. It was sickening, something I hadn't felt since I was a teen and twenty-something. Things were starting to blur together and spin, had to soothe myself. I've dealt with probably thousands of panic attacks. "It's just five more hours", I thought; "just need to make it to Philly, we'll land at 5:30. Gotta make it 'til then"; I tried to console myself.

I thought something huge and terrifying was going to happen any second after. I waited for it to jump out but it never came. Things were very still for some time. I saw Dana, now seated on the other side of the plane, and something compelled me to hop on over to the aisle seat next to her.

I was anxious and desperately wondering if anyone else was experiencing what I had been, admittedly. I was making connections between the change in atmosphere upon entering that vestibule, the random anxiety and nightmares I had while in California... and that man, that warned me to "be careful" on this flight.

While this connection made sense to me, I believed at the time that there was a more logical explanation behind everything. I didn't know how, but someone made those changes. How else? Whatever was going on freaked me out very badly at first, but then I was intrigued. I suppose it's similar to attending a haunted attraction during Halloween. Everything is set up to scare you, but you keep going on through the haunted houses because you need to see what lies next. It was weird but didn't seem too dangerous.
I wanted to speak to Dana.

So, I sat down and started a casual conversation with her.  "Hey Dana, do you mind if I sit here? Long trip. How was yours, by the way?" I spit out.
She gave me a funny face. I was rambling, oops; wasn't ready for what she said back.

"Um yeah, you can sit here. But my name isn't Dana" she said genuinely.
I pursed my lips and squinted my eyes. Completely unsure what to even think, I had to say something quick to get out of this odd interaction, which was "My bad". I stood up, whipped around and slunk back into my seat.

Well, I did know one thing, for sure; something was seriously off.