Better ~Jean x Reader AU~

Chapter 20: Drowning in Sunshine

My eyes lingered on my ceiling, watching as the rays danced across the flat surface. The golden hues trickled in through my window, bathing my room in the late morning light. Honestly, I knew I had to get up, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave the comfort of my warm bed to face the day...I just wanted to stay curled up and ignore everything. Sadly, I couldn't do so.

I let out a hardy sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, fighting my best to just ignore all the things I needed to focus on. I shoved Kellen from my thoughts...I shoved YF/N from my thoughts...I shoved Jean from my thoughts. I just pushed them each from my mind and begged slumber to find me once more when my cell chimed, alerting me to awareness.

Groaning, I reached over and grabbed my phone, scanning the screen. I had gotten a text from Kellen. I bit down on my bottom lip. Did I want to talk to him at that moment? Did I really want to talk to anyone right then? That was a silly question. No. No, I didn't want to talk.

And yet I still opened the app.

Kellen <3: Hey babygirl :) are you free tonight? I figured we could hang out here and watch movies and order pizza

Me: Hey babe ;) Actually I thought I'd visit my dad today. You understand right?

Kellen <3: Oh yeah totally! How is he doing these days anyway? I hope he's doing well.

I sucked in my cheek. As silly as it sounded, I didn't know how to reply. How could I? It was hard to explain YF/N's condition those days. He was receiving major radiation and chemo treatment to fight his cancer. He wasn't necessarily at his best. He was growing susceptible to common illnesses. Even a simple cold could easily take him down at that moment due to his weakened immune system. But I doubted Kellen wanted to hear that.

Me: He's making progress. It'll be a while before he's back to 100

Kellen <3: Understandable. I'm sure he'll be better and stronger before you know it.

Me: Oh no doubt :)

Kellen <3: We can always do a movie another day:)

I saw no harm in that. Ever since YF/N got sick I had been distant. I felt guilty. I was majorly neglecting my boyfriend. And yet...he was still a trooper. There wasn't a time where he wasn't a true understanding gentleman. So...the least I could do was oblige.

Me: Of course :)

Kellen <3: :) how about tomorrow? Say 7:30?

Me: That works for me :)

Kellen <3: Great! I can't wait babygirl :)

I thought for a moment. He seems to genuinely care about how YF/N is doing. I thought. And I do want him and YF/N to meet...so... All I could do was attempt it.

Me: Actually do you wanna go with me today to see him?

Me: You don't have to feel like you need to go. It's just that I know my dad would love to meet you and I could use a little bit of a distraction from worrying.

Me: Sorry babe. You really don't have to go if you don't wanna

Kellen <3: No it's ok :) I'd love to go with you. Just let me shower up and get ready, k?

I was surprised. I thought I sounded desperate. I mean...I had been just that. Desperate. Desperate because I was feeling the weight of it all barreling down on me. The thought of having Kellen go with me eased my stress. I felt calm even.

Me: Are you sure? You really don't have to if you don't want to.

Kellen <3: It's perfectly fine :) Besides I'm excited I get to meet your dad. I mean it sucks that it'll be in a hospital but I'm excited regardless :)

Me: I'm excited too :) I'm sure he'll love you

Kellen <3: I hope so! XD Okay. I'm going to get ready. I'll text you when I'm on my way to your dorm.

Me: Alright babe :) I'm gonna do the same. I'll see ya soon

Kellen <3: K love you :)

I stared at those words. I stared and stared...unsure how to reply. My heart pounded against my chest as my pulse sounded in my ears. My cheeks flushed red and my breathing shallowed. I didn't know how to explain it, but reading those words made me feel a certain way. A way that made my body react in unwanted manners. It made me feel...

...anxious.

**Ello my sweet lovelies! So, looks like Kellen is gonna meat YF/N. How do y'all feel about that? Excited? Nervous? Indifferent? Feel free to let me know! As always, thank you so freakin' much for everything! Y'all are the bee's knees! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross