Better ~Jean x Reader AU~

Chapter 12: Last Person

Well, that went way better than expected. I sighed, rounding the corner. I was on my way back to MRU from the hospital, a small bag of snacks in my grasp. It had been a long day spent in that horrid place with my dad, so I figured a few treats would be okay to indulge in. I mean, after all, I hated hospitals. They were cold and sickly smelling to me, but I was putting up with it for YF/N. I was sucking it all up for him.

I swallowed, still worrying about him. He had only just begun his treatment; he had just gotten his first dose of chemo. He had looked fine while I was visiting him, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the treatment caught up to him. He wouldn't remain chipper and optimistic the entire time, though I still hoped he did. I knew a cancer diagnosis was one hell of a pill to swallow, but I also knew it was best if he remained in a positive state of mind. However, maybe it was myself I needed to tell that to.

YF/N was worried, and I knew that, but he was still wearing a smile. He never had any problems with looking at the bright side of things but me...I had more of a difficult time with that. Despite wanting to remain in that equally optimistic state of mind, I couldn't. I feared everything; I feared how he'd decline in health. I feared how his immune system would become weak. I feared that maybe the treatment wouldn't work. I feared the absolute worst; that YF/N would...would...

I balled my hands into tight fists and bit down on my bottom lip. No. No, I mustn't think that way. I have to stay positive. I have to. I took a deep breath and began to work to clear my thoughts. That was easier said than done, however. My mind was swarming with countless thoughts that were less than desirable. I couldn't help but dread the worse possible scenario.

But maybe that was just my sleep deprived mind catching up to me. Maybe I was just so overly exhausted that I was letting my thoughts get the better of me. Maybe that was the problem. It seemed feasible, really. Perhaps a good night's rest was exactly what I needed.

Just the thought of sleep brought a smile to my face. My eyes were heavy, and my body was stiff, sleepiness plaguing me. It was only natural that the mere thought of climbing into my warm bed would bring a sense of calmness over me. It was a glimmer of light in the darkness of that day.

Sweet bed, I'll be there soon. I look forward to crawling into you. I smiled to myself, approaching the gates. Their iron bars stood tall, reminding me of what they were once supposed to keep locked out, only to keep it in. Shivers ran the length of my spine at the thought of Professor Wells. It was still terrifying to know that someone we were supposed to trust was behind all the chaos.

I just sighed and pressed on, not really wanting to think about anything to do with MRU's drama when I had enough personal drama to fuel some corny fanfic. So, I just shuffled closer and closer to my dormitory when something caught my attention. Or rather, someone.

He was walking, his hands shoved into his pockets and head hung low. It seemed he was deep in thought based on his posture, but that didn't change how my breath hitched and heart leaped into my throat at noticing who it was. Jean...Jean fucking Kirstein.

He must've heard me walking, because he glimpsed up, his gaze falling on me. At first, he didn't seem to realize it was me, but it didn't take long for his eyes to widen. He stood frozen for a few moments before steadily making his way to me, all the while I remained glued to where I stood.

"Hey, long time, no talk," he tried to chuckle. "Anything new with you?"

I wanted to talk -I wanted to answer, but my trembling lips left me unable to. My eyes flickered up and down at him, mesmerized by him. He towered over me, his tall frame making me appear so small in comparison. He was dressed for the warmer weather with a pair of well-fitted jeans hanging from his narrow hips and a plain black t-shirt draped over his torso. His undercut was still wild with a spiked texture, a black beanie nestled on top of his scalp. The tattoos on his arms were in full view, each an intricate pattern beckoning for me to run my fingers along them...but I refrained. I refrained because I knew better.

I knew better because he was not mine to touch.

He lifted a brow, whistling, "Hello? Earth to Y/N. You there?"

I blinked rapidly and shook my head to bring myself back to reality. "S-sorry. What?"

"Tch. I'll take that as a no," he chuckled.

"Ha. Sorry. I was just...lost in thought is all," I replied, fidgeting.

I could feel his eyes become trained on me, his sharp gaze observing everything there was to. Anxious, I dropped my own gape. I was too nervous to glimpse up at him. There was no telling how I'd react at meeting those alluring golden orbs of his.

"I see," he murmured. "Are you okay? You seem tense. Is everything okay?"

I wanted to tell him...I wanted to just blurt out all my worries and what I was feeling, but Alexandra's words chimed through my ears. 'I'd appreciate if you stayed away from him'. I bit down on my bottom lip, feeling something within me...break. It hurt to think about her wish, but I had to respect that. She was uncomfortable with me being anywhere near her boyfriend and I didn't blame her. He was not mine to be near.

"I'm sorry," I swallowed. "I...I need to go."

"Wait, what?" he questioned, the slight hint of a chuckle at the edge of his tone. "What are you -"

I brought my stare directly to his and interrupted, "I need to go."

He seemed taken aback by my abrupt reaction, the confusion clearly visible in his eyes. I knew he didn't know. I knew he was oblivious. He had no idea that Alexandra was uncomfortable with our...friendship? Whatever we had, his girlfriend did not approve, and I respected that...even though it hurt like hell.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, listening as my own voice wavered. "I-I really do need to go."

I shuttled past him, holding my breath as a means to fight back the wave of emotions washing over me. I hurried to my dormitory, not once glimpsing back at him. I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't bring myself to meet those eyes. I just couldn't.

But all the while I avoided eye contact, I felt his stare linger on me.

**Bello my lovelies! That encounter, eh? How's this make y'all feel? Feel free to let me know in the comments. I know I'd be crushed. Then again, who wouldn't? It's freakin' Jean fucking Kirstein. Anyway, thank you so, so, sooooo much for everything! Y'all are awesome sauce! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. I love Jennie (from BLACKPINK) so much. Her first solo properly titled "Solo". :) My other wifey. <3