I feel my heart stop. I mean what did I fucking expect? Of course this is what happens to me. What did I think he was going to say? "oh Baz, I love you too, want to maybe go out some time?" I laugh out loud at that idea, because I know it'll never happen.
I hate him.
No, I don't hate him. I love him, I wish I hated him, it would make it so much easier. I can feel needle like tears pricking my eyes, fighting to spill over. I refuse to let them fall though, I refuse to shed a single fucking tear, I refuse to waste anymore time on this boy. He took up five years of my mind, of me imagining how this conversation would play out. Every time I always imagined it with a happy ending, and suddenly after thinking about it for so long it's over, just like that, there's no more room for daydreaming.
When I get back to Watford, nothing will have changed, and that's even worse. I wish he'd stuck around to cuss me out, and tell me how much he hated me, it would make it easier to hate him back. Or it would have at least crushed my last shreds of hope, because somehow I still feel like he's going to come back and tell me he's changed his mind. And I know that's idiotic and isn't going to happen, but I can't help but hope for it. I never knew that heart ache was an actual feeling. I thought it was just an expression, but my heart feels like someone's slowly pressing down on it. It feels like it's literally going to break, it won't be able to hold up to the pressure. I'll always be stuck knowing that as my heart strings snap one by one, Simon will look on, completely unfazed.
________________________________yah...... sooo that's the end.... sorry? Vote if you liked it :)
YOU ARE READING
Fuck You (Snowbaz)✔️
FanfictionI wrote a fic to take my anger out on, so I didn't take my anger out on my dumb ass friend that I've fallen in love with. (Update I dislike her now, cuz she dropped our whole friend group, because the boy she liked didn't like her back) Highest rank...
