The Diary Of A Broken Girl

Chapter One

⚠️ WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ABUSE AND SELF HARM!! ⚠️
⚠️ National Helpline Australia: 84 081 031 263 ⚠️
⚠️ National Helpline America: 1 800 273 8255 ⚠️
⚠️ National Helpline England: 0808 800 5007 ⚠️

Dear Bully,

I woke up this morning to my father yelling at me which ended with me getting punched in the face and kicked in the stomach. It wasn't bad this time there was no blood and it hurt but over the years I have learnt not to say anything or else it gets worse.

When I got to school all I could hear was the constant students calling me names and occasional comment like

'She should just kill herself, she isn't good enough to be here.'

'She should lose some weight. Look how fat she is.'

'No one likes her why is she even here.'

I must admit that they are really hurtful but it's nothing compared to what I have to deal with at home.

You and your group of friends came up to me and called me names again but this time it was different, you pushed me into the lockers. It didn't stop there you let your friend Max, kick me three times in the same place as my father did earlier this morning.

You did nothing to stop them you just laughed and told me I was was worthless before you punched me. I cried out but you just laughed harder with your friends.

I understand everyone needs to let out some anger but why, Eli why is you so angry and why you take that anger out on me. Have I done something to upset you.

I wanted to scream and yell at you, tell you that I'm already hurt, that I don't need you to add to that but you wouldn't care you'd just hurt me even more. The rest of the school day was a blur.

I Had to work 6 hours at cafe 72 after school before having to walk home in the cold weather.

When I got home father was passed out on the couch surrounded in beer bottles, until he heard me walk to the kitchen and before I knew it I was on the ground because he threw a beer bottle at my back yelling that I should have already made him dinner.

It hurt so much I tried to stay strong I wasn't going to let my tears fall, not for him.

A few more hits later and I'm forced to cook him dinner.

Soon I was cutting myself again, with your words running through my head.

'Your worthless, no one wants you. Not even your parents who don't think your good enough. You sorry excuse for a human.'

I watched as i slowly dragged the blade across my wrist again and again, watching as the blood drips from my arm into the sink. Believing your words, I'm not good enough, I deserve this, I'm doing the right thing.

Well maybe this is bad or wrong but it feels so good, It feels like I can let go of everything the abuse,  the bullying, mums death. I deserve this.

I feel like the whole world is against me, that I can't be happy or safe that I can't escape my father or you and it's true. I'm not safe even from myself I mean I'm watching my blood drip into the sink for god sakes.

Well I think that is enough for now I'll write soon. Your broken girl,
- Sophia