I'm listening to SAD! right now, so I thought it might make a good title for this vent.
My girlfriend broke up with me. It was mutual, so I'm not completely worked up over it, but I made her cry. I didn't mean to, honestly. I was covering for the other person who runs this account because all of my friends know her (she uses a different name, though). I didn't want them to try to get me to not be friends with her anymore.
And then I used what I found and vented to someone, which got me yelled at by my friend. I know she wouldn't have yelled at ANYONE else from our friend group if they did the same thing as me.
I'm just the friend. Ya know, the one that no one really cares about until they're gone. I wanted to try to keep everything inside from there-on-out but it's honestly so fucking hard. I figured that only three people are aware this account exists, I'll use this to vent.
Also, in this current moment, someone isn't answering my texts. Now, it may be because they're asleep, but I really want to hear their voice. I know it sounds weird, but it makes me feel safe. I honestly don't know how to explain it. But, I'm not sure if he's asleep, playing a game, or just ignoring me. Of course, I want to spam him and tell him to wake up so I can fall asleep on the phone with him, but I don't want him to be annoyed with me. Does that make sense?
I'm feeling a tone of emotions at this current moment in time. It's making my head hurt and causing my breath to become shallow. Ugh, what am I supposed to do? I just got out of one relationship and I'm already kinda catching feelings for someone who only likes me as a friend. I mean, I don't feel safe when hearing a man's voice, so it's an accomplishment.
Imma go to bed now, bye.
