I honestly just want to die. I'm not fine with pretending everything's okay when it's not. My friend and ex are together. They got together the day after we broke up, too. Most of my friends are on my side and are saying what they pulled was a bitch move.
I just can't understand when I'm the one who always listened to them and helped them through shit. Sure, I get that you can lose feelings for people, but really? She just HAD to get with my best fucking friend? I stayed up 'til 3 AM with that bitch so she would be happy, no matter how tired I was. I would buy her shit and JUST THE OTHER FUCKING DAY SHE TOoK SOME OF MY SHIT. Just the other fucking day when she was calling my friend adorable. Just the other fucking day when she kissed and hugged me. So, that was all just fake.
All of it. For the past couple of months. I fell right into that trap. I fell for the girl who apparently kissed someone behind my back, who never talked about our relationship, who never wanted to save it, who ditched me for some half-assed girls who barely give a shit about her well-being.
It's very hard to smile and act like everything's OH SO FUCKING FINE. YA KNOW. I AM PERFECTLy FINE. How about this? She stayed with me because she DIDN'T WANT ME TO HURT MYSELF. IF THAT BITCH GAVE A FUCK ABOUT ME SHE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THIS OVER WITH SOONER AND ACTUALLy TELL ME WHY SHE WANTeD TO BREAK UP. NOT BECAUSE IM TALKING WITH MY FRIENDS TOO FUCKING MUCH. THAT'S NOT A GOOD FUCKING REASON TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE. AT LEAST TELL THEM THEY WEREN'T MEETING YOUR NEEDS AND NOW YOU LIKE SOMEONE ELSE.
Ugh, my head hurts. What the fuck is wrong with me and why do I get attached so easily? I just shouldn't let people into my life so easily. My uncle, grandfather, and dad already taught me that. But I have to go believing people change. Haha.
