bts fluff • 방탄소년단

전정국 jungkook - insecurities

jungkook and i had lived together for almost three years-just a few months after we got into our relationship. after his gratuation two years ago, he applied for being a sound engineer (a/n: i think that's what they call because i always see them in the back of a bts album??) in bighit entertainment- the entertainment company for the biggest boy band in the world and successfully got the job.

bts was going to have their comeback really soon. i had almost never seen jungkook except on weekends. he always came home after i sleep, and wake up a lot earlier than me even though i had work. sometimes he would even sleep in his studio instead of coming home.

sometimes i would feel like making food and bring them to his studio, but i didnt want to disturb him especially if he's that busy.

"only for a few months, then i'll take a long break so we can travel to jeju island." he always told me.

i longed for this day to come.

--

i'm currently working at a coffee shop. jungkook had told me to quit the job multiple times, but i didn't want to be a burden to him which he had to earn both of our livings.

i was resting and scrolling through instagram in the staff room (?) during my break. until i heard this conversation:

"hey, do you think y/n got a bit chubbier than before?"
"yeah, not to be rude or anything, but she should probably lose some weight. who knows, her boyfriend might even dump her for her weight."
"i had seen her boyfriend a few times. he's quite handsome. and judging from his outfit he's probably rich as well."
"that's why y/n doesn't suit him. she should probably leave him before she gets dumped."
"shh! she's right behind us."
"yeah, right, i hope she'd heard this conversation so she can leave her boyfriend for good."

to be honest, my weight is below normal. but according to korean beauty standards, i am chubby and is considered as not pretty. what if jungkook really leaves me? or, is he already leaving me for another girl who has a better body than me? oh, he's probably doing that already. all night in his office without my presence? he's probably gonna fuck some girl on his table-

stop. y/n. stop.

from that day on, i started to work out daily.

--

i was jogging along the han river. it was almost midnight. i couldnt sleep - more like getting off my thoughts of jungkook probably cheating on me.

i had my earphones plugged and i was blasting suga's seesaw in my ears. i originally wanted to listen to other songs such as euphoria, but they were all produced by jungkook except the ones which we're produced by namjoon and yoongi themselves. then the thoughts of him doing that other than me would make myself tear up, again. (a/n: i worship seesaw)

my stomach made a funny sound. i skipped both lunch and dinner.

suddenly, i couldn't see anything except darkness. the song blasting in my ears became silence. i faintly heard someone screaming my name. then i felt my head hittinf something hard and lost my consciousness.

--

when i woke up, i was in an unfamiliar room. the bright white led light (a/n: that kinda rhymed lmao) shone into my eyes. i squinted.

"oh thank god y/n you're awake."

i'm suddenly pulled into a side embrace. i'm surrounded by a familiar scent-the lemongrass bodywash that jungkook uses. he pulled away, and looked into me seriously, "the doctor said that you're blood sugar is low so you fainted. luckily i happened to be buying some snacks and witnessed you fainting."

"o-oh. really." i didnt look into his eyes.

i could never let him know that i'm losing weights.

"why are you so skinny? are you not eating properly- wait, are you trying to lose weight." jungkook's worried tone disappeared and what replaced it was anger.

"s-sorry."

"how many times do i have to tell you? you shouldn't lose weight because you're so fucking fragile and you faint very easily. you really want me to worry about you huh?" he scolded, angry to the point that he cussed.

"i-i said im sorry already! it's okay if you wanna leave me because i'm fat and i can't cook properly and i have such a fragile body that you had to take care of. it's totally fine i understand and-"

jungkook cut me off with a kiss. without myself noticing it, i was already crying rivers. he deepened the kiss by pushing the back to my head.

"where did you get the idea that you're fat?" "m-my coworkers." i was still hiccuping.

he sighed. he pulled me into a hug again, but only tighter. "you know perfectly that you're underweight and you definitely need more nutrients." he said with concern dripping in his voice. "you're not fat at all, even if you are i'll still love the way that you are."

--

a/n: this is reallllllly shitty i know but i have 0 idea right now. anyways i'll do the questions about me in the next update. love you all byee