The Fallen and The Deranged [BNHA]

Chapter Ten: The Shame

Mai's skin still felt slick and hot as she walked into the bar. There was discomfort at the remaining wetness between her thighs and every step was a battle not to run off and clean herself.

God. What the fuck had she been thinking?

She hadn't been. And that was the problem.

Mai hated Shigaraki. She often fantasized about all the ways she could hurt him, slap that hand off his face and just claw away until she felt sane again.

And yet she had—

Warmth spread across her cheeks as she walked into the bar, sliding into a stool.

Great, now she was sitting in her mess.

She wondered if there was a shower here. But, with the condition Shigaraki often kept himself in she wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't.

Oh dear god. She had let him, wanted him—

Mai dug her nails into her thighs, her body rigid with disgust and shame.

But, she supposed, the distraction had worked. She wasn't guilty over her dream. No, now she felt guilt over something real, something that still had her tingling.

And it didn't compare, not at all to the gory guilt she normally felt.

At least now Mai felt validated in her shame.

"Are you feeling alright?" Kurogiri asked, sliding her a glass of water. It was cold against her skin, and as she brought the glass to her mouth the coolness jolted her warm insides.

"I'm fine."

"I apologize if what you saw tonight was too much."

Mai nearly choked on her water.

Oh. Oh. She had almost forgotten the real terror of the night.

She couldn't imagine what had happened. Almost didn't want to.

"Kurogiri." Mai mumbled, bringing the now empty glass to the bar top. "Do you really believe the same things Shigaraki does? That releasing those things was the best idea?"

Kurogiri was quiet for a moment. "Saito Maiya. I know you believe his actions are rash and childish. And you aren't wrong for pointing it out. But." There was a strange conviction in his voice that jolted her. "I support Shigaraki completely."

Mai nodded, bringing her eyes to the bar. She ran her hand along the slick wood. "I don't...completely disagree with your ideals."

"What do you mean Miss Saito?" Kurogiri intrigued.

Mai sighed, unsure was she was saying this. But Kurogiri was always so polite. So kind. He reminded her of her father in a strange way.

"I would be lying if I hadn't thought along the same line as both of you. Stain as well. If I didn't think or feel there was something wrong with our society."

She nodded her thanks as Kurogiri handed her the water glass back full. She took in a cold sip. "I just feel like the execution- the killing and the chaos... is wrong. There must be a better way, a better way of changing things than this."

She wanted to, needed to believe that.

"What? Do you think society is going to listen to words?" Shigaraki's voice sounded behind her, and she couldn't help as she flinched.

He scoffed, "They are mindless. Spineless. They won't listen to reason. So we show them. The error of their ways."

"You're only driving them further into their hero's arms with this terrorism. How can you not see that?" Mai was shaking all of over. She didn't dare look at him. Didn't dare to move at all.