Stuck between should I or should I NOT

Trying to stay strong

"Taylor get up honey it's time for school". I could hear my mothers voice calling for me from the bathroom. Our apartment wasent the biggest we'll shit it wasent big at all. My mom and I shared a bed room and there was one horrible bathroom where the water was some timesy it only worked some times and dose days it didn't even stay on long. I rose out the twin size bed stripped out my over sized tee shirt and went to do my some what bathroom routine. I take a baby wipe and wiped my body down I look over at the clothes that I've been wearing for the past mouth and rushed into them when I heard July moms foot steps. I hated my body I was so chubby and couldn't stand for anyone to see me not even my blood mother. I steped out the bathroom to a rumpling stomach I placed my hand on it and my mom new I was hungry. she sighed and came over to me. "baby I'm so sorry but I don't have any food so when u get to school eat as much you can and here, here's your toothbrush brush your teeth in the bathroom". I nodded my head because I already new the routine. she threw on her dirty old sweats and we we're out the door. mama always walked me to my bus stop to make sure I got on safely and I always sat in the front and watched her out the window as she waved bye untill I could see her small shadow out the window. when we finally got to school I rose out my seat and got off the bus I didn't have any friends so I walked the hall and rode the bus alone..... sorry I didn't get to exactly tell you guys about me. my name is Taylor freeman I'm 14 years old and I'm in the 8th grade. I live in New Jersey and I live in Irvington. I am light skin and I have shoulder length hair, and I'm chubby. my mom is Dominican ,and trinadaden but my dad is black. I really don't like speaking on him because I never really to know him and he walked out on us before I was even born.