drunk texts - editing

seventeen

It had been a day since Harry and Sid had met for the first time, and all her brain could focus on were two emotions.

The first was complete and utter happiness. She felt the delightful pit in her stomach she felt when she first met Austin. That thought is what brought her into emotion number two. Guilt. She knew she couldn't have both Harry and Austin, but she had no idea how to understand her own feelings for either of them. How could she commit to either of them if her thoughts wandered each time she tried to focus on one of them.

Her brain had also been influenced by the recent social media stunts Austin had been playing. He never deleted their photos together and he followed her back only a few days ago. This brought hope back into her life, although she felt excitement when it came to Harry she also felt comfort and safety when it came to Austin. He was her person for over a year and that's impossible to forget.

"Earth to Sid" Jess says snapping her out of her trance. "There she is"

"Whoops, I didn't get much sleep last night, sorry I've been zoning out" Sid chuckled as she played with her food with her fork. She glanced around the dining hall looking for Austin's familiar face, as she always did.

"Ready for this party tonight?" This brought a smile to Sid's face as she nodded like a kid being asked if they wanted ice cream.  "You should invite Harry"

She scoffed "I don't think that's really his scene"

"So what's going on with you two?" She asked as she continued chewing her food which made Sid cringe with disgust.

"Nothing, good friends I guess" She shrugged and placed her hands on the table and played with the rings that rested on her fingers. Jess could sense the disappointment in her voice.

"But you want more right?" Sid put her head down and offered her another shy shrug. "Why are you confused by this? He's Harry Styles" She said putting extra emphasis on his name "Literally all girls and most guys would be thrilled to be in your position"

"Yeah, but I don't know, what about Aust-"

"What about Austin?" Jess interrupted her as soon as she heard the first syllable of his name "You need to get over him. You did everything for him and he just wanted to party. You have Harry, he is nice and a solid 15/10, this is a no brainer"

"Whatever" She muttered, not wanting to press the topic any further. She knew everything Jess was saying was true but she didn't want to admit it.

"Plus, I think he's into that girl Ava" Sid tried to hide the hurt that the simple sentence caused her, but she found it extremely difficult. She opened her mouth slightly, trying to find the words to express how she felt but nothing came out. Instead, she just ignored the comment from Jess and pulled out her phone.

Sid: hi

Harry: hey love how are you?

She knew it was wrong of her to text him as soon as she found this new information out. It made her feel somewhat dirty like she was just using him as a rebound. She used the fact that they were just friends to help her justify her actions, but she knew she thought of him as more, and deep down past all her insecurities and doubts, she thought he felt the same way too.

Sid: I'm great!

She lied. In actuality, she felt her heart was being broken all over again. Finding out the boy you love has already moved on was one of the worst feelings known. Sure, losing a family member and like getting stabbed or something suck too but this was different. The only thing that she held on to was the fact that Ava might not even like him back.

Sid: What are you up to?

Harry: kinda just hanging out, not much

Sid: wanna do something

Harry: Sure, now?

Sid: yeah if you want

Harry: Okay, I'll come pick you up

"Well, Harry and I are hanging out" She grinned as she grabbed her tray and Jess followed suit.

"Funny" Jess said chuckling dryly "You hit him up only after you find out Austin likes someone" Sid rolled her eyes. She knew it probably wasn't her best decision, but she did like Harry, and she knew he would distract her from whatever is going on with Austin.

The next fifteen minutes consisted of Sidney going through all of her clothes and cursing herself for her awful choice of apparel.
Sweaters she got from savers, baggy jeans that fit her poorly, tee shirts, skinny jeans that fit her kind of better, and then party outfits.
She ended up putting on ripped high waisted jeans and a simple thrasher tee shirt (even though she had never skated a day in her life) and she tied it in a knot in the front. After applying some makeup she sat on her bed and waited for the text from Harry to come to her phone.

"Are you just gonna fuck him?" Jess asked

Sid shrugged "Probably not"

"Then why are you hanging out with him?"

"Because I enjoy his company" She grinned which caused Jess to laugh. Jess knew exactly what was going on here. Sid needed a distraction, and Harry was that distraction. But she couldn't help but feel there was something more between the two, he wasn't just some hookup that Sid was seeing once and never again. That's what confused Jess the most.

Harry: here

~ Sorry if this is short and not that great, I am actually writing it in my class. If you're reading thank you! hope you're enjoying it, I will be updating a lot more once I get the hang of my new schedule. (and once I refill my adderall) !! hope you're all having an amazing day/week/month/year! yall r great ~