The Harsh Reality

Barney & Friends

The beloved dinosaur loved by children and hated by parents and care providers alike. Barney teaches children many morals and life lessons, but at the expense of adult sanity. It’s no wonder that many people behind the Barney suit are fired for drug use. It’s a shame really.

But there are some creepy aspects to this joyful show. How does a stuffed animal come to life? Magic? Maybe it’s a disguise to lure children in?

Think about it, there are always new children every single episode. Maybe it’s me, but I think the dinosaur eats them. Barney also has the children dinosaur friends Baby Bop and B.J. They are the only recurring characters. Notice they are all dinosaurs?

Baby Bop is the one that’s the “baby” of the show, always sucking her thumb and carrying around a blanket(does it bother anyone else that the reptilian dino has eyelashes?). She’s not a carnivore, and Barney knows that she’s the last of her species, so of course having morals(like the show teaches), he wouldn’t eat her, and same with B.J.

So Barney naturally looks for other prey. Like human children. Disguising himself as a lovable stuffed animal, he lures children in. Then after that bond that every child has with their stuffed animals, is secured, Barney reveals his true form.

Taking pity on them, he teaches them a moral in life, broadcasting it to children across the globe. He knows that we need to be taught these things instead of relying on instinct as many creatures do. When the episode is over and the cameras turn off, he eats them. Simple as that.

The worst part is, that the children do not know this happens to the guests on the show, so they keep falling into his trap.

So to all you parents out there that hate Barney, now you have a legit reason to.